The Evening Ritual
I’m excited to elaborate on part two in a three-part series of your Self Care = Success conversation. In part one of this series, we talked about the power of your Morning Ritual – how you’re waking yourself up, how you’re beginning your day, getting centered, getting grounded, investing in yourself, how you shape your day, to shape your energy, your focus, your passion, your enthusiasm, and your time. On the other side of the day is looking at your Evening Ritual and how you transition your day to sleep and preparation for the next day. The way you wake your brain up has massive influence to your life , results, and your success – and the same thing on the flip side is how are you putting your brain to bed?
Consider that. Do you just randomly get in bed at all different times of the night? Sometimes you’re in bed a 10:00 pm, sometimes it’s one in the morning, and it can be a range of time frames, right? And I’m not saying that everything has to scheduled to the exact minute, that isn’t how I live my life either. Yet it is having some awareness to how you’re showing up with your full wellness, including your sleep and reduction of stress in the evening. So let’s take a little inventory on the other side of your day – let’s look at your night. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high, one being low, do you have a regular, consistent evening ritual of how you transition your brain into going to bed or going to sleep? With the same scale, how would you currently rate your current quality of sleep? Are you sleeping well? Are you waking up energized with the day before you? Do you find yourself with lots of thoughts, and staying awake, or struggling with being able to turn off the mental chatter? Just tune into that. Do you feel like your day completes peacefully or in a hectic manner? Just simply become aware, and now with that new awareness you can ask yourself, “What would I rather experience in transitioning from day to sleep?”
Let’s take a deeper look at your evening ritual. There’s a couple of pieces and points I want you to consider. When you get clear on your ideal evening ritual, I want you to ask yourself, “When is my technology being turned off?” Some of you sleep with your technology, right? Like literally, it’s as if you’re cuddling that cute little iPhone or that Samsung or your iPad, whatever it might be. You might be a little too attached to that technology, right?
I have no judgement about it. Are there are times my technology has been in my bed? Yes. However, when we think about high-level living, conscious living, levels of creating high performance, I doubt it includes having our technology wrapped into us like a comfy blankie, right? So ask yourself, “When does my technology go off?” Does it always come in the room? Do you fall asleep to your technology, whether to a television or to the Internet or social media apps? What is that like for you? Now that you’re getting more clear, make a decision – when is my technology off for the most part? When is your ideal time frame to be complete with it? Maybe you give yourself a range within half an hour, typically, or an hour – decide what time frame your technology is off and out of your hands. I encourage you to have at least thirty minutes, ideally, that your technology turns off before going to bed or sleep. If you need to, you can start with fifteen or twenty. But fifteen to twenty to thirty minutes from the time you get off your technology before you try to go to sleep is the ideal range that working towards will support you increasing your high performance for the next day. Once your technology has been put to bed (pun intended!) that’s where we create a conscious evening ritual. Think of it as tucking yourself in, in a really gentle, kind way, that you’re taking better care of yourself so you can show up more fully present, passionate and alive with the people and the projects that matter most to you.
Now that your technology is off, consider implementing another success habit which is called Night Before Planning. If you’re especially the type of personality that keeps ruminating and thinking about all the things you need to do tomorrow, one thing that might help you tame that, and therefore sleep better, is to do a little night before planning. Outline what your number one priorities for the next day are, both personally and for business. Then list all the different tasks, or people you need to call, or follow up with. Some people keep a notebook right by their bed when ideas and inspirations come. But looking at your day of what’s to come the next day, you’re already starting to prepare successfully, to focus. Imagine when you wake up; you already have a game plan for the next day, and all night, your subconscious mind has been working those details out. I find that by writing it down, doing a little night-before planning, I’m creating a more peaceful night of sleep and a power surge to my productivity the next day. It’s like the weight is off, and I’ve put to bed all of the things that want to run around inside my brain, by writing them down. That might help support you as well.
Finally, consider what would feel like a restful activity for you. In that same thirty minutes, we’re off our technology, we’ve done a little night before planning, and now we are into some space to make a self care deposit. Whether that be reading, meditation, lighting a candle, making hot tea, taking a warm bath, writing a gratitude list from the day, or utilizing some products or essential oils that help you rest. Ask yourself, ‘What are restful activities for me? What would feel great and nourishing to me? What would be my ideal Evening Ritual to create?’ Keep in mind, this investment of a small amount of time, is a big deposit in your self care and thus your ultimate success in life and business. The way you put your brain to bed, has everything to do with the quality of sleep you’re receiving, which in turn has massive influence to how you begin your following day.
The topic of quality sleep is getting more and more attention today. Celebrity fitness trainer J.J. Virgin, who’s phenomenal in her content on weight loss and health and wellness, says if she can only pick only one weight loss tip it would be getting a quality seven to eight hours of sleep a night. There is also research surrounding the world’s wealthy. Looking at their attributes, (remember success always leaves clues) –the top one to three percent of the world’s wealthy, on average, get seven or more hours of sleep a night. Now that might contradict what you’ve thought before, that you need to burn the candle and need to work harder and more to make more money. The reality is – is the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships and your results has everything to do with the quality of your sleep and overall self care.
Make yourself a bigger priority in your life and become conscious of how you put yourself to sleep at night. Create your own turn-down time, and a little bit of time to just disconnect from the world, your technology, a little time to nurture yourself, maybe that hot tea, some journaling or reading a great book, some yoga, whatever may help put you in a more restful place, will be well worth every ounce and moment of that time to help increase the quality of your sleep, which then influences the next day, which then invests in your success– they just continue to grow upon one another.
You’re worth the time.
Try it out for 30 days and see the powerful impact of applying this effective success discipline. I look forward to hearing how it goes for you!
Cheering you on!
I’m thrilled to be sharing one of my very favorite topics of all time, the power of excellent self care! This is part one in a three-part series, sharing with you some tips and tools to help you up level your self care so you increase your confidence, which in turn will increase your results.
When you think about yourself, I want you to take a simple inventory for me. Grab a piece of paper, or pull out your iPad to take some notes with. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high and one being low, I just want you to take an inventory. And there’s no right or wrong answer to this, it’s just being honest with yourself and where you are. As you think about your current physical well-being, your sleep quality, your energy level, your – just being in your body, where would you currently rate your physicality on a scale of 1 to 10? Where would you currently rank how well you feel physically?
RATE your PHYSICAL HEALTH on a scale of 1-10
Secondly, I want you to look at spiritually – your purpose, your passion, your connection to your Higher Power, whether that be God, Source, the Universe, feeling alive and grateful, peacefulness, joy, that your life has purpose and power, and that you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. On the same thing, scale of one to ten, ten high, one low, where would you currently rate your own spiritual connectivity to yourself and to life?
RATE your SPIRITUAL CONNECTION on a scale of 1-10
And third, I want you to consider the mental component of feeling stimulated – feeling like you’re reading good books or that you’re learning, that you’re growing, that you feel excited about life and projects, and that there’s time to read or nurture your brain and things that matter to you. It could be time also for hobbies that matter to you as well. When it comes to that component, the mental/emotional side of your life, one to ten, how comfortable, how happy, how progressive do you currently feel life is for you – again same thing, scale of one to ten. There’s no judgment here, it’s just being aware of where you’re starting and what you want to create.
RATE your MENTAL FULFILLMENT on a scale of 1-10
Sometimes when I’m coaching people, their number one goal in hiring me or coming to one of my events is they want to grow their sales and their income. It’s a great goal to have, right? I help a lot of people do just that. I always start with self care, no matter what client or group I’m working with. The level of their current self care directly impacts their self confidence, and their self confidence, directly impacts their sales and results.
“Your self worth will equal your net worth.”
– Jim Rohn
I believe you are your number one asset. It’s like the goose and the golden eggs. I know that’s an old fable that’s been told for many years, yet the concept is true. You may be saying, “I want more golden eggs,” or “I want bigger, brighter, shinier golden eggs,” then we simply must take care of the goose that’s producing that outcome.
Sometimes we get that backwards. We say, “I want more outcome, more production, more revenue, more sales, more income – that means I’m going to have to burn the candle at both ends, and push push push push myself to exhaustion.” You can only do that for so long before that will catch up to you. At the core of your success is your confidence level, and underneath confidence is your self-worth and esteem that’s fueled by your self care.
See, unfortunately for many of you, the only time you’re really doing anything of a self care nature is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or your birthday. It’s as if you’ve got to have a special day just to go do something kind for yourself or to be recognized without the guilt of feeling selfish or lazy. I’m asking you, as your coach, to up-level your self care, that you take better care of yourself so you can see, feel, and experience the results of greater success, sales, and enjoyment of life.
The first habit I want to focus on here in part one is what’s called the Morning Ritual. You probably at some point have heard the concept of having a power hour. Now I don’t call it power hour because that indicates it needs to be a full hour, and for many of you, you’re saying, “I hardly have a few minutes to myself, let alone a full hour.” Anytime we’re trying to establish a new habit, I want you to think in terms of “move the needle” for sustainable progress. I care more about creating the habit than the amount of time.
Let’s look at a morning ritual. An ideal morning ritual has three components to it: spiritual, mental and physical. Spiritual is how you connect to what makes you feel connected spiritually – to your Higher Power, to Source, God, your Maker – there are a variety of different names or titles. Ideally your morning starts by getting connected spiritually. That might be prayer, meditation, reading or listening to something that inspires your heart or your soul, some journalling, some gratitude listing, etc. I want you to feel more connected spiritually. CONNECTION is the point of these activities. Gratitude listing and making a gratitude journal is a great way to do that. List out for yourself – what are a few activities that would help you feel connected spiritually? Now that might take two minutes, and that might take twenty minutes – that’s entirely up to you.
What CONNECTS you spiritually?
Second would be mental. And the way I describe or define the mental component to your morning ritual is anything that stimulates possibility or personal growth. That might be looking at your vision board, that might be reviewing your goals, that might be visualization of the things you’re wanting to attract. It could also be reading great books, personal development, that stimulates your brain. Research has proven that the world’s wealthiest people, on average, read thirty minutes a day of content that stimulates their brain, develops their craft – it’s some form of personal or professional development. So reading would be here as well. You could read, again visualize, review your goals, look at your vision board, but something that stimulates possibility and growth.
Are you INVESTING in your personal growth?
And third is physical, getting your body moving. Now some of you might say, “I don’t have time to do a full workout,” right? This could be a few yoga poses or stretches, or a series of sit ups or push-ups, to get your body moving. It could be a brisk walk around your neighborhood. Whether it’s a full workout or a few minutes of stretching, what matters is that you make the deposit. The time amount is entirely up to you.
Are you moving your body, even if it’s a little bit of time?
Let’s talk time. All I ask of each of you – to implement and live consistently – is the habit I call The Sacred Ten. That at minimum, the first ten minutes of your day gets to be invested into you. You’ve got at least 1o minutes. Begin your day with YOU – not your cell phone, Facebook, or email. Again, I don’t care how much time you commit to it. It isn’t about quantity, it’s about quality. What does matter – Are you connecting and nurturing yourself on a daily basis? I invite you to consider that if you’re starting your day, every day, on the agenda of someone else, your self-worth is not in your own hands, right? Far too often we might start our day on our smart phones looking at Instagram or Facebook or jumping into our email. Many of you are parents, and you might immediately be into parenting role. Ideally you’re going to get up at least ten to fifteen minutes before your children, and before you touch your phone and look at all of that data – you’re going to invest in you. Getting to your own life first, rather than reading about everyone else’s life on social media or your inbox which is often the agenda of other people. You’re worth the investment.
You’re worth it. You’re worthy and deserving of that. And the repercussion, the results – is when you start your day positively, you’re shaping your day for awesome experiences. And truthfully, your days become your weeks and your months and your years – is it’s how you start that day definitely shapes your life, shapes your success, and your results. Starting today or tomorrow morning with that Sacred Ten – that you put the first ten minutes of your day into you to get nurtured and centered before you move into your roles with other people.
If you want more tips and tools, to stay connected with me, I’d love to do so. Go to Tiffanyspeaks.com and make sure to claim your FREE training to maximize your goals. You can also find me on Facebook at Coach Tiffany Peterson. I look forward to seeing you in future segments, parts two and three of this self care series, and I look forward to connecting with you then!