Hi, I’m Tiffany Peterson, and I’m thrilled to share with you today the secret sauce in setting goals that are realistic and doable – and the ability to follow through and actually achieve them – which is significantly higher when you follow this model and this formula.
People have challenges with their goals – that’s if they’re even setting them. I’m curious, have you set your goals? Are your goals up to date? Has it been a while? Could they use a little bit of refinement?
Sometimes the biggest challenge comes because we sometimes set goals that are pie-in-the-sky, right? It’s this all-or-nothing mentality which is what I call the perfectionistic pitfall. See, when something is all or nothing, it means you might be setting goals that are setting yourself up to fail.
Now what I mean by that is – you might be setting a goal, for instance, where you’re going to say, “I’m going to work out every single day.” That might be a little bit much. If you were my client, I would tell you, “Settle down. Just a moment. How often are you working out now, or getting moving, or exercising, currently?” And if you’re telling me, “Never,” or “Really inconsistently,” then going from zero to “I’m going to work out seven days a week” is a little bit unrealistic for sustainable success.
Maybe you’re setting a goal to not eat any more sugar, or maybe you’re setting a goal you’re going to write a part of your book every single day. See, when we set ourselves up that way, that it’s all or nothing, we set ourselves up for that pitfall perfectionism. Because the moment you mess it up, the one day that you don’t make the workout, maybe you’re sick or something came up with your kids, or you eat that cupcake, whatever it may be, that when we’re setting goals that are pie in the sky, we’re setting ourselves up to potentially fail. So I just invite you to become aware of that when you’re setting your goals.
To dive more into this process, I’m going to share with you a powerful formula by Raymond Aaron. He was a great teacher from Canada, on goals and productivity. This is his content I’ve been implementing in my life for years, as well as teaching and sharing it with my clients to help them succeed at achieving their most important goals. So consider – what are your goals in health, wellness, in income and sales, in relationships, in home or projects or hobbies? I’m going to share with you what is called the MTO formula. MTO stands for:
So, thinking about the goal – I’m going to use health because it’s an easy one and it’s one that applies to every single person watching this video or listening to this podcast, or reading this blog – is this aspect of MTO, minimum, target, outrageous. Let’s say one of your goals is to get moving more and exercise. We all know that we feel great when we exercise and when we get moving. So, rather than saying, “I’ve got to work out every single day,” consider, minimum: you’re going to get moving three times a week. Maybe target is four times, and outrageous would be five plus. Let’s say you want to organize your home or your office or your closet, or maybe there’s a massive project that you’re working on. And you might say okay, minimum, I’m going to put in two hours a week, target is three, and outrageous would be four plus. If you’re making sales calls, what I like to call connection calls, and make – reaching out with contacts, and whether that’s email or phone or setting up appointments – is that you, for yourself, same thing – is how many contacts are you going to make this week? How many people in your network are you going to nourish?
I use this formula for everything. It’s helped me significantly make progress. You’ve probably heard me say at some point or another, “It’s about progress, not perfection,” right? And when we set the pie-in-the-sky, all or nothing goal, we’re susceptible to that pitfall of that perfectionistic thinking. So what I love about this is it gives you a scale. It makes your goals scalable, or doable, or in other words progressionary. Rather than saying, “Oh, I failed, I didn’t work out today, forget it. I’m not going to work out any more the rest of this month or this year, and I’ll set that New Year’s resolution once more in another year.” It gives you this scalability to keep it focused on progression, which is key to sustainable success.
So if you’re writing a book – minimum, target, outrageous – how much are you going to write? If it’s sales contacts, you want to grow your business, how many are you going to follow up with? Minimum, target, outrageous. If it’s taking better care of your health and well-being, and maybe you say, “I’m going to get moving for at least twenty minutes, three times a week; twenty minutes four times a week target, twenty minutes five times a week – is that you get your body moving. So whatever the goal is – health, relationships, sales, income, contacts – you can use this formula to guide your success.
Now I still love to focus on the outrageous goal – the pie-in-the-sky, the breakthrough goal, the BHAG, which stands for big, hairy, audacious goal. I love to still visualize this and focus on this. This would be, again, that massive level of change. Yet I also give myself the permission, and I’m inviting you to do the same for yourself, the permission that I’m going to make progress. And you know what? Truthfully, from my heart of hearts, I think the most important goal that you ever make is that it is about progress, not perfection. That as human beings, we’re all trying to learn and figure it out. There’s this quote by Buckminster Fuller, where he says, “You can never learn less,” by setting goals. So set them. Put them in writing. Post them. Get support around it. But this process of minimum, target, outrageous gives you the framework to make it scalable, doable, and allows yourself to stay checked in.
When I ask people, “What’s your biggest issue? Where do you struggle the most?” It isn’t a lack of knowledge. Most of you have a lot of knowledge on goals and goal setting, and a lot of knowledge on health and sales and relationships. The gap is follow-through. But you know what? Your fortune is in the follow-through. So how do I get you to follow through more? It relies upon if you can stay checked in. That’s what I love about this process, to make progress and steps towards your goals. You can never learn less, you’re going to learn more by taking action than any other thing.
So set your goals. Give yourself some benchmarks today around your sales contacts, around your health and wellness, around relationships for connection or getting organized, or writing or producing that book or product. Minimum, target, outrageous for yourself, so you create that feeling and that awareness that you can continue to make progress. It doesn’t have to be perfect; what matters is you stay checked in and committed.
There is nothing more influential to your success, your sales, your income, your business, your relationships, your health, than that of the attitude that you’re carrying with you in life. I want you to consider this concept by Stephen Covey where he says, “We see the world as the way that we are, not the way that it necessarily is.” Your attitude, in essence, is this concept of seeing through, say, a lens, right? Let’s say you’re wearing a sweet pair of shades. You’re going to see life a little differently with the lens that you’re seeing them through. Now consider, what if you were wearing shades that were zebra print, or pink, or orange, or hot fuchsia? That would definitely color the way that you’re seeing and playing life. I want you to become aware that the way you’re seeing things is definitely shaping the life, the results, and the outcome that you’re experiencing.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Albert Einstein, where he says, “The most important decision that we ever make as human beings is: Do I live in a hostile Universe or a friendly Universe?” In other words, is life working in your favor, or is life working against you and out to get you? I know it sounds like such a simple thing, but it’s monumental to the life and the results that you’re creating.
Now here’s the thing – It’s a choice.
Your attitude is a choice.
It’s a decision.
It isn’t something that you just were born with, like blue eyes, or brown, or green eyes. It’s something that you have a choice to – that you get to shape and you get to influence. So I invite you to consider that. What is your chosen belief and chosen attitude? I know for myself, a few years ago I made up my mind to believe, consciously, I made the choice to believe that life is always working for my highest good, my highest favor. Now can I prove that? Absolutely not. However, what kind of results do you think I always keep creating if I choose to have the lens that life’s always working out for me? Even when I go through the tough stuff, the heartbreak, the challenge, the mishap, something that doesn’t work out, a disappointment – like the rest of you – all of those things I go through too, yet because I choose to believe that life is working in my favor, I can always find the lesson, the nugget, the silver lining or in my life, seeing how God’s hand has been directing me.
I love the scripture in Romans 8:28 that says, “All things work together for your good, for those that love God.” Now however you hold this space for God, Source, the Universe, Life, I don’t care what title you use – but that Higher Power in your life of choosing to believe and to trust that it is working out for you favorably. Now again, that’s a choice and a decision.
A couple of years ago I went through a mentoring program with Jack Canfield. It was a powerful, very influential experience in my life. He’s a dear friend and mentor. And he exposed me to one of the most powerful, profound life formulas I’ve ever read, listened to, or been taught. And it’s simply this: E + R equals O. I’ll show it to you. Pretty simple: the E stands for event, the R stands for response, and O stands for outcome.
Event + Response = Outcome
See, we all have a variety of different events all the time. There are small things to big things, right? Things that we perceive as positive, perceive as negative. Things that we are ecstatic with joy over, and things that break our hearts, and a lot of life in between all of that. But you always have the power to choose how you respond, right? This is where the power center comes in for you, is right here – is saying, “Okay, here’s the event, here’s my chosen response, now here’s the outcome.”
Years ago there was this Lexus dealership in southern California and they hit into some pretty challenging times in terms of economics. What that challenging economic time provided for that sales team was to get creative, to dig deep. They started driving out their cars to country clubs and high-end hotels, and more and more people started driving their cars. Now what happens when you drive a new car? Even if you have a nice car, when you drive that new car, you start to have that experience where you are now attached and wanting your own new car. Their sales went up significantly, even more than what they had done prior to the economic downturn. So what did that event create for them? They had to choose to respond. Now could they sit around the coffee break room and complain and whine about the challenges they were facing? Sure, and maybe they did at some point. But they ultimately got creative and innovative to dig deep to respond to the event they were up against to shape their outcome.
This is true for you, for me, for every one of us on this planet. What I love about the studies that are coming forward in personal development and spiritual psychology is we’re studying more and more about happiness. Sometimes you might be thinking the thought that “once I’m successful, then I’ll be happy,” where ironically, you’ve got to flip those. Because what we find is that people who are happy tend to create more and more success.
So I invite you to become aware, a conscious decision, today, that says this, “I choose to be happy. I choose to believe that life is working in my favor. I choose to show up with passion and life and enthusiasm.” You have that choice. It’s yours to make.
Thanks so much for reading – tune in next week for my next segment.
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Whether you’re attending a local one hour networking meeting to a full blown multi-day convention, attending live events is one of the best and quickest ways to grow your own business.
Networking meetings and live seminars are great for two obvious reasons:
The seminar you’re attending is great for learning and growth.
The event you’re attending has other like minded, growth oriented people there to network with.
Although I too love social media and connecting online, there is nothing like meeting in person. It gives people the opportunity to connect and get a sense of someone quickly – which in turn can build trust and rapport faster than any other option.
I personally commit to attending a minimum of two events per year (many times more) for my own personal and professional growth. I plan for it and budget it in knowing that the investment in me is often returned ten fold. I invite you to do the same.
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest.” – Benjamin Franklin
Per today’s Success Tip, I want to share with you a handful of strategies that can help you maximize your time and investment at the live events or meetings that you’re attending.
When applied, these strategies can create new business, sales, and income.
TIP #1: Do THIS Before You Go! The most popular phrase used when referring to networking is this: The fortune is in the follow up. It’s a cute phrase, but it’s also said so often because it’s true! Now, we already know this, right? But the challenge is doing it. So before you go, schedule time blocks into your calendar dedicated to “event follow up”. I find that already having it in my schedule – a planned priority – sets me up to succeed and it will do the same things for you too. See, when we get back from an event there is laundry and emails and all sorts of things to catch up on alongside of our already busy lives. We have the best of intentions to follow up, yet often those intentions and new warm business cards become dusty and stale underneath the busyness of life awaiting our return. “Success is scheduled” is a truer than true success strategy.
When is your next live event or networking meeting?
Grab your calendar now and schedule your follow up time in the days following it so it’s already there!
TIP #2: Know Your 15 Second Commercial. The most popular question you will be asked at your next live event, seminar, or networking meeting will be, “what do you do?” Plan on it. When it comes to sharing what you do, think of sharing the outcome or benefits that your product or service provides. I often share this phrase in my sales training, “Sell the Destination, not the Airplane.” People are buying destinations, not the airplane itself, make sense? Focus on what they get and receive. Create a powerful one or two line statement about what you do for others – their outcome in working with you. List out benefits and outcomes people experience and then utilize those in your sharing. Another way to think of this is every time someone asks you, “what do you do?” pretend they’ve really just asked you, “how do you help others?” By responding how we help others thrive and succeed we keep the spotlight on what we do for them. Keep it short and sweet – remember that we’re just wanting to engage, not overwhelm them with our entire story.
TIP #3: The Power of Intention. In showing up to any event, hold the intention or say a prayer to be of service to the people you will meet. I have had many cool “coincidences” of meeting just the right person that I can help or that can help me with having this mindset. All too often people see networking as “what can I get” yet the adage of show up to serve to focus on “what can I give” makes what Larry Benet, Networking Expert calls a VC – Value Creator. When you’re focused on adding value to people’s lives, you will have an abundance of opportunities and plenty of sales as you provide solutions for others. Whether it’s called prayer or intention in your world, draw upon it to help set the framework of how you’ll show up at the next event you attend…and watch the magic happen.
TIP #4: Increase Retention. All too often we attend a fabulous and inspiring seminar and take detailed notes, only to never see the notes again. To increase your retention, take even 5 minutes before going to bed that night to review your notes. This simply activity significantly increases your retention and therefore, odds of success by applying it. I find that especially if I’m attending a multi-day event, I plan to have a 15 minute evening review to maximize the investment I’ve made to be at that event. To go the extra mile, I like to review those notes once a week during personal study time over the following 30 days. Remember that success is scheduled? If remembering to review is challenging for you, put it in your schedule as a reminder to help you get the value and learning you went for.
TIP #5: Carry Blank Cards. Receiving anything in the snail mail these days stands out, doesn’t it? In the day of texts, emails, and tweets, to receive an actual card almost feels vintage – and it’s powerful. To help set yourself up for success, carry blank note cards with you in your purse or bag. I personally will carry a few in the book I’m reading or in my journal so when I find a few minutes, I can write a card right then and there. Especially when flight travel is involved, I enjoy journaling and writing cards to my new contacts on the flight home. By having them on you and while the meeting is top of mind, I like to ink those sentiments and get it in the mail.
TIP #6: Get Choosy! Although it’s possible and ideal to follow up with every new contact you made at your recent event or seminar, I invite you to pick 1-5 contacts that really stood out to you or that you had a great connection with to focus in on and follow up with. Meeting great people is awesome, following up with them is another. I find that for any goal in life, focus is the game changer to success and thriving. So pick who stood out most to you. Or who you have that “vibe” for. And then begin with building a real relationship with them. Often if we try to take on too much, we get overwhelmed and procrastinate and then do nothing. One person followed up with and a great relationship established is better than a million business cards collecting dust.
You set a goal.
You tell all your friends!
You take off strong towards that goal!
And then a little time goes by.
The enthusiasm wanes.
The doubts creep in.
You take your eyes off the goal and take stock of what others are doing. Many of them are further than you! GASP!
You begin questioning.
You look ahead to see your goal beckoning you in the distance.
You know it’s possible, yet is it possible for you?
It’s for sure possible for others doing it.
You can see glimmers, but you want so much more.
You thought that BY NOW you’d be so much further than you are…
So what does all this mean?
When we begin pursuing goals, changes, or growth it often (not always) takes longer than we would like.
Whether that be losing weight, growing your business, writing a book, or increasing your income, time can take longer than we wanted or expected…
For many of you, you’re exactly where you need to be. You just need a little patience and timing to arrive at your destination.
I have the great fortune to coach many people growing their own business – and inevitably the “not fast enough” syndrome hits them all at some point or another. They want more leaders for their downline. They want to get more media attention, Twitter followers, or opt in’s for their list. They want more clients to service. They want more conversations to become actual sales.
The “not fast enough” syndrome is normal.
And it can be exhausting, overwhelming, and costly.
Let me ask you this – if you knew with 100% conviction that your goal was going to happen, yet it was say 30 days or 18 months out, how would you choose to pass the time in getting there?
With peace and confidence?
Or with stress, worry, or second guessing?
I believe strongly that what you claim as yours – your desired dreams and goals – that they in effect are also seeking for you…as Rumi, the great poet has said, “What you’re seeking, is seeking you.”
Yet, I also believe that those dreams will show up sometimes different than imagined or on a different timeline than we may have.
So how can you travel the path of peace to your goals?
Consider these suggestions.
1. Eliminate the comparison game. Oftentimes our struggles come in the awareness of comparing our progress and results to that of others. We may have felt just fine in what we were doing until we hear that someone else has done double the results we have in the same time. In comparing ourselves to others, we take out an eternal measuring stick that can evaluate everything that we’re not doing, achieving, or excelling at. Drop the comparison meter and refocus on the positive things that you are doing in your own life.
2. Daily Meditation. I find that when I’m connected to myself, that inner awareness – some call it their intuition, their heart, or the Holy Spirit – whatever you call it, when you’re connected to it, there is a greater sense of peace and purpose to your life. I find that many insights, ideas, or actions to take will come to me in my meditation that is exactly what I need to learn or do next in the path of achieving my goals. Do you have daily or even weekly quiet time? A meditation practice? Journaling? Time in nature? By getting quiet and centered we will find the answers we seek.
3. Reward yourself along the way. This is SERIOUS friends! Pay attention to the power of celebration of your progress and milestones. Two years ago I began coaching a lovely woman in a direct sales business. Upon hiring me, she was one level away from the very top rank level in her company and her goal was to become a top level leader. In our first coaching session, I asked if she had ever celebrated herself for achieving the milestone (which was incredible) that she had already ascended to which she replied, “no.” Her first assignment: celebrate herself and her current achievement. She did so and it became a habit to begin acknowledging her progress along the way. Within 45 days or less, she achieved the top rank within her business and now has a network marketing business with around 100,000 distributors in her organization. Consider this, if you’re always waiting to be “perfect” or at the self created finish line for your goal to reward yourself, you may never get there. Rewarding yourself, acknowledging your progress is POTENT FUEL for the path of achievement. I invite you to do something this week to celebrate the milestones you’ve already achieved. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.
Have faith in yourself and in your goals.
Quit comparing your life to others.
Take time to get quiet and centered on a regular basis.
Reward your milestones.
Okay, phew! I just said it. I feel like I just jumped off the symbolic cliff with you. I just put it out there. And now I feel a bit vulnerable and free all at the same time.
I’ve been “thinking” about writing a book for a long time. People say that it’s good for business, great for credibility, and will open many doors. And while that’s true I assume, that isn’t my driving motivation.
Nearly six months ago I attended a women’s retreat and during a meditation by the ocean I had a divine, sacred experience where I felt called to share what’s in my heart. It’s as if a seed was then planted that has been gestating and it’s now beginning to come forth. It’s about me answering a call from my Divine, my heart and willing to walk in this path, even though it’s scares me and brings up lots of my unpretty stuff.
Last weekend I participated in a virtual workshop retreat to write a book in a weekend – it was awesome – great coaching, collaboration, and passion and I made significant progress. And then I hit the wall.
I’m aware that when we approach change and growth that our stuff or limiting beliefs can come up. I coach that everyday. So I was very logical about going into this weekend, yet then I hit my own wall. I was stuck, I was overwhelmed, feeling like I wanted to just check out and shut down.
As I got curious about what was up for me and gave voice to it, I became aware that my stuff sounded like this, “Who am I to write this book? I’m just a regular girl. What will others think of me?” And then the big one surfaced – “what if I can’t live up to my content (core success principles) all the time? I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. And I feel incredibly vulnerable putting myself out there.”
I cried. Hot tears cried. And then breathed. And then received some love and support from dear friends who “just happened” to reach out when the meltdown was happening, including my workshop partner & dear friend, Michelle. God is really so cool with how He puts people on our path in the moment we need them. And none of them “fixed” it for me – that’s my work with myself and my Maker. Yet held the love and space to say, “Tiff, it’s okay to be vulnerable. You’re writing this to honor a calling, honoring God. You’re writing this for those who are seeking it.” And then I breathed some more and felt a sense of peaceful calm. And went on to knock it out of the park.
Being vulnerable is the path of the courageous, the path of greatness.
Whether that be in the form of writing a book, taking a stand for a cause or beliefs we have, asking for a sale, communicating our needs to our partner, or any other form where we tell our own truth or take a real or perceived risk.
There are reactions we receive in putting ourselves out there – we could experience judgment, criticism, or rejection. We could also experience love, sales, connection, and fulfillment by willing to risk and be vulnerable.
It often appears that hiding our vulnerability – acting as if we’re tough, know it all, are perfectly put together, and stuffing or distracting our vulnerability – will protect us, yet in reality it limits us from living a more expressed life.
Last Spring I was introduced to a great thought leader, Brene Brown and her TED talk video. It moved me to the core. She now has a best selling book, “Daring Greatly” and has recently been featured on the popular Oprah program, Super Soul Sunday. This topic is trending big time. Take a watch and see why:
So I’m sharing with you what is up for me and creating my own path of vulnerability… so you can get the most out of the time you’ve invested in reading this article, take a breath of courage and consider for yourselves…
Where in my life or what in my life am I avoiding or putting off?
What one goal – greater connection, intimacy, writing your book, asking for that sale – do you know in your gut that you need to ask for or go for?
Are you willing to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there?
Yes, your work may be judged, like mine will be. Yes, your work will be praised, like mine will be. Yes, you may get a no, get turned down, told no, or have to make uncomfortable decisions. Yes, you may get a yes, get accepted, and get exactly what you wanted. We never know unless we’re willing to be vulnerable.
I have learned for myself that the more I am authentic and allow myself to share all of me, especially the vulnerable sides, that I experience life and connections at a fuller expression of living. Vulnerability makes life more beautiful…more real, deep, and alive! And that’s a choice I’m choosing to make.