I’m excited to share with you a brand new video that I created just for you around a very real and relevant topic…
The Approval Addiction…and How To Take Your Power Back.
We’ve all experienced seeking approval and validation in someone or something outside of us. It’s part of being human.
Yet the challenge is we can sometimes give away our self esteem in the hustling and auditioning for outside approval.
Whether it’s validation from a parent we are seeking, the next credential or endless social media likes, it can be an easy trap to fall into and that steals our joy.
Are you stuck in seeking approval and validation from everyone and everything else outside of you?
Learning to show up for yourself by yourself is key to creating and cultivating thriving self esteem, self confidence, and greater sense of inner peace and joy.
Discover the 3 keys to take your own power back and thrive…
To view directly on YouTube, click here.
While you’re there, click subscribe so you can be the first to see other new video sessions as they are released. I have some great videos in store for you!
PS – Can I let you in on a little behind the scenes moment? Before shooting this video on approval, my amazing videographer offered his opinion that he wasn’t the biggest fan of my jeans for this video. He was on the fence. I thought about it and then told him, “Isn’t it ironic for this topic?” I smiled and said, Thank you yet I love these jeans and now I’m for sure wearing them.” He smiled and we laughed and then filmed this segment – enjoy!
Cheering you on in creating your own healthier, happier, authentic life!
The Evening Ritual
I’m excited to elaborate on part two in a three-part series of your Self Care = Success conversation. In part one of this series, we talked about the power of your Morning Ritual – how you’re waking yourself up, how you’re beginning your day, getting centered, getting grounded, investing in yourself, how you shape your day, to shape your energy, your focus, your passion, your enthusiasm, and your time. On the other side of the day is looking at your Evening Ritual and how you transition your day to sleep and preparation for the next day. The way you wake your brain up has massive influence to your life , results, and your success – and the same thing on the flip side is how are you putting your brain to bed?
Consider that. Do you just randomly get in bed at all different times of the night? Sometimes you’re in bed a 10:00 pm, sometimes it’s one in the morning, and it can be a range of time frames, right? And I’m not saying that everything has to scheduled to the exact minute, that isn’t how I live my life either. Yet it is having some awareness to how you’re showing up with your full wellness, including your sleep and reduction of stress in the evening. So let’s take a little inventory on the other side of your day – let’s look at your night. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high, one being low, do you have a regular, consistent evening ritual of how you transition your brain into going to bed or going to sleep? With the same scale, how would you currently rate your current quality of sleep? Are you sleeping well? Are you waking up energized with the day before you? Do you find yourself with lots of thoughts, and staying awake, or struggling with being able to turn off the mental chatter? Just tune into that. Do you feel like your day completes peacefully or in a hectic manner? Just simply become aware, and now with that new awareness you can ask yourself, “What would I rather experience in transitioning from day to sleep?”
Let’s take a deeper look at your evening ritual. There’s a couple of pieces and points I want you to consider. When you get clear on your ideal evening ritual, I want you to ask yourself, “When is my technology being turned off?” Some of you sleep with your technology, right? Like literally, it’s as if you’re cuddling that cute little iPhone or that Samsung or your iPad, whatever it might be. You might be a little too attached to that technology, right?
I have no judgement about it. Are there are times my technology has been in my bed? Yes. However, when we think about high-level living, conscious living, levels of creating high performance, I doubt it includes having our technology wrapped into us like a comfy blankie, right? So ask yourself, “When does my technology go off?” Does it always come in the room? Do you fall asleep to your technology, whether to a television or to the Internet or social media apps? What is that like for you? Now that you’re getting more clear, make a decision – when is my technology off for the most part? When is your ideal time frame to be complete with it? Maybe you give yourself a range within half an hour, typically, or an hour – decide what time frame your technology is off and out of your hands. I encourage you to have at least thirty minutes, ideally, that your technology turns off before going to bed or sleep. If you need to, you can start with fifteen or twenty. But fifteen to twenty to thirty minutes from the time you get off your technology before you try to go to sleep is the ideal range that working towards will support you increasing your high performance for the next day. Once your technology has been put to bed (pun intended!) that’s where we create a conscious evening ritual. Think of it as tucking yourself in, in a really gentle, kind way, that you’re taking better care of yourself so you can show up more fully present, passionate and alive with the people and the projects that matter most to you.
Now that your technology is off, consider implementing another success habit which is called Night Before Planning. If you’re especially the type of personality that keeps ruminating and thinking about all the things you need to do tomorrow, one thing that might help you tame that, and therefore sleep better, is to do a little night before planning. Outline what your number one priorities for the next day are, both personally and for business. Then list all the different tasks, or people you need to call, or follow up with. Some people keep a notebook right by their bed when ideas and inspirations come. But looking at your day of what’s to come the next day, you’re already starting to prepare successfully, to focus. Imagine when you wake up; you already have a game plan for the next day, and all night, your subconscious mind has been working those details out. I find that by writing it down, doing a little night-before planning, I’m creating a more peaceful night of sleep and a power surge to my productivity the next day. It’s like the weight is off, and I’ve put to bed all of the things that want to run around inside my brain, by writing them down. That might help support you as well.
Finally, consider what would feel like a restful activity for you. In that same thirty minutes, we’re off our technology, we’ve done a little night before planning, and now we are into some space to make a self care deposit. Whether that be reading, meditation, lighting a candle, making hot tea, taking a warm bath, writing a gratitude list from the day, or utilizing some products or essential oils that help you rest. Ask yourself, ‘What are restful activities for me? What would feel great and nourishing to me? What would be my ideal Evening Ritual to create?’ Keep in mind, this investment of a small amount of time, is a big deposit in your self care and thus your ultimate success in life and business. The way you put your brain to bed, has everything to do with the quality of sleep you’re receiving, which in turn has massive influence to how you begin your following day.
The topic of quality sleep is getting more and more attention today. Celebrity fitness trainer J.J. Virgin, who’s phenomenal in her content on weight loss and health and wellness, says if she can only pick only one weight loss tip it would be getting a quality seven to eight hours of sleep a night. There is also research surrounding the world’s wealthy. Looking at their attributes, (remember success always leaves clues) –the top one to three percent of the world’s wealthy, on average, get seven or more hours of sleep a night. Now that might contradict what you’ve thought before, that you need to burn the candle and need to work harder and more to make more money. The reality is – is the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships and your results has everything to do with the quality of your sleep and overall self care.
Make yourself a bigger priority in your life and become conscious of how you put yourself to sleep at night. Create your own turn-down time, and a little bit of time to just disconnect from the world, your technology, a little time to nurture yourself, maybe that hot tea, some journaling or reading a great book, some yoga, whatever may help put you in a more restful place, will be well worth every ounce and moment of that time to help increase the quality of your sleep, which then influences the next day, which then invests in your success– they just continue to grow upon one another.
You’re worth the time.
Try it out for 30 days and see the powerful impact of applying this effective success discipline. I look forward to hearing how it goes for you!
Cheering you on!
I’m thrilled to be sharing one of my very favorite topics of all time, the power of excellent self care! This is part one in a three-part series, sharing with you some tips and tools to help you up level your self care so you increase your confidence, which in turn will increase your results.
When you think about yourself, I want you to take a simple inventory for me. Grab a piece of paper, or pull out your iPad to take some notes with. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high and one being low, I just want you to take an inventory. And there’s no right or wrong answer to this, it’s just being honest with yourself and where you are. As you think about your current physical well-being, your sleep quality, your energy level, your – just being in your body, where would you currently rate your physicality on a scale of 1 to 10? Where would you currently rank how well you feel physically?
RATE your PHYSICAL HEALTH on a scale of 1-10
Secondly, I want you to look at spiritually – your purpose, your passion, your connection to your Higher Power, whether that be God, Source, the Universe, feeling alive and grateful, peacefulness, joy, that your life has purpose and power, and that you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. On the same thing, scale of one to ten, ten high, one low, where would you currently rate your own spiritual connectivity to yourself and to life?
RATE your SPIRITUAL CONNECTION on a scale of 1-10
And third, I want you to consider the mental component of feeling stimulated – feeling like you’re reading good books or that you’re learning, that you’re growing, that you feel excited about life and projects, and that there’s time to read or nurture your brain and things that matter to you. It could be time also for hobbies that matter to you as well. When it comes to that component, the mental/emotional side of your life, one to ten, how comfortable, how happy, how progressive do you currently feel life is for you – again same thing, scale of one to ten. There’s no judgment here, it’s just being aware of where you’re starting and what you want to create.
RATE your MENTAL FULFILLMENT on a scale of 1-10
Sometimes when I’m coaching people, their number one goal in hiring me or coming to one of my events is they want to grow their sales and their income. It’s a great goal to have, right? I help a lot of people do just that. I always start with self care, no matter what client or group I’m working with. The level of their current self care directly impacts their self confidence, and their self confidence, directly impacts their sales and results.
“Your self worth will equal your net worth.”
– Jim Rohn
I believe you are your number one asset. It’s like the goose and the golden eggs. I know that’s an old fable that’s been told for many years, yet the concept is true. You may be saying, “I want more golden eggs,” or “I want bigger, brighter, shinier golden eggs,” then we simply must take care of the goose that’s producing that outcome.
Sometimes we get that backwards. We say, “I want more outcome, more production, more revenue, more sales, more income – that means I’m going to have to burn the candle at both ends, and push push push push myself to exhaustion.” You can only do that for so long before that will catch up to you. At the core of your success is your confidence level, and underneath confidence is your self-worth and esteem that’s fueled by your self care.
See, unfortunately for many of you, the only time you’re really doing anything of a self care nature is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or your birthday. It’s as if you’ve got to have a special day just to go do something kind for yourself or to be recognized without the guilt of feeling selfish or lazy. I’m asking you, as your coach, to up-level your self care, that you take better care of yourself so you can see, feel, and experience the results of greater success, sales, and enjoyment of life.
The first habit I want to focus on here in part one is what’s called the Morning Ritual. You probably at some point have heard the concept of having a power hour. Now I don’t call it power hour because that indicates it needs to be a full hour, and for many of you, you’re saying, “I hardly have a few minutes to myself, let alone a full hour.” Anytime we’re trying to establish a new habit, I want you to think in terms of “move the needle” for sustainable progress. I care more about creating the habit than the amount of time.
Let’s look at a morning ritual. An ideal morning ritual has three components to it: spiritual, mental and physical. Spiritual is how you connect to what makes you feel connected spiritually – to your Higher Power, to Source, God, your Maker – there are a variety of different names or titles. Ideally your morning starts by getting connected spiritually. That might be prayer, meditation, reading or listening to something that inspires your heart or your soul, some journalling, some gratitude listing, etc. I want you to feel more connected spiritually. CONNECTION is the point of these activities. Gratitude listing and making a gratitude journal is a great way to do that. List out for yourself – what are a few activities that would help you feel connected spiritually? Now that might take two minutes, and that might take twenty minutes – that’s entirely up to you.
What CONNECTS you spiritually?
Second would be mental. And the way I describe or define the mental component to your morning ritual is anything that stimulates possibility or personal growth. That might be looking at your vision board, that might be reviewing your goals, that might be visualization of the things you’re wanting to attract. It could also be reading great books, personal development, that stimulates your brain. Research has proven that the world’s wealthiest people, on average, read thirty minutes a day of content that stimulates their brain, develops their craft – it’s some form of personal or professional development. So reading would be here as well. You could read, again visualize, review your goals, look at your vision board, but something that stimulates possibility and growth.
Are you INVESTING in your personal growth?
And third is physical, getting your body moving. Now some of you might say, “I don’t have time to do a full workout,” right? This could be a few yoga poses or stretches, or a series of sit ups or push-ups, to get your body moving. It could be a brisk walk around your neighborhood. Whether it’s a full workout or a few minutes of stretching, what matters is that you make the deposit. The time amount is entirely up to you.
Are you moving your body, even if it’s a little bit of time?
Let’s talk time. All I ask of each of you – to implement and live consistently – is the habit I call The Sacred Ten. That at minimum, the first ten minutes of your day gets to be invested into you. You’ve got at least 1o minutes. Begin your day with YOU – not your cell phone, Facebook, or email. Again, I don’t care how much time you commit to it. It isn’t about quantity, it’s about quality. What does matter – Are you connecting and nurturing yourself on a daily basis? I invite you to consider that if you’re starting your day, every day, on the agenda of someone else, your self-worth is not in your own hands, right? Far too often we might start our day on our smart phones looking at Instagram or Facebook or jumping into our email. Many of you are parents, and you might immediately be into parenting role. Ideally you’re going to get up at least ten to fifteen minutes before your children, and before you touch your phone and look at all of that data – you’re going to invest in you. Getting to your own life first, rather than reading about everyone else’s life on social media or your inbox which is often the agenda of other people. You’re worth the investment.
You’re worth it. You’re worthy and deserving of that. And the repercussion, the results – is when you start your day positively, you’re shaping your day for awesome experiences. And truthfully, your days become your weeks and your months and your years – is it’s how you start that day definitely shapes your life, shapes your success, and your results. Starting today or tomorrow morning with that Sacred Ten – that you put the first ten minutes of your day into you to get nurtured and centered before you move into your roles with other people.
If you want more tips and tools, to stay connected with me, I’d love to do so. Go to Tiffanyspeaks.com and make sure to claim your FREE training to maximize your goals. You can also find me on Facebook at Coach Tiffany Peterson. I look forward to seeing you in future segments, parts two and three of this self care series, and I look forward to connecting with you then!
Life is sales. Whether you have a formal sales position or not, life is indeed sales in every form. Getting hired at a job is a sales experience. Getting married or getting engaged is a sales process. Getting your children to do their homework or eat their vegetables at some level is a sales process too.
So when you look at this concept in sales, where a lot of people sometimes struggle, or they get in their own way, is they don’t stick with the sales process long enough. They give up too quickly because they haven’t made a fast sale. Life is sales, but sales are simply relationships. And any great relationship takes time.
You’ve probably heard it said before that people like to buy from those they know, like, and trust. That’s influenced me, it’s influenced you, and will continue to be a massive influence for the sales to come in any industry. It is the power of relationship. And any great relationship takes time.
The Law of 4 Interactions is based on research done at Notre Dame University. A gentleman named Herbert True conducted in depth studies of thousands upon thousands of sales interactions. In the observation of that data, they concluded that 60% of sales transactions purchase after a fourth interaction. Now consider that number, SIXTY PERCENT, that means the bulk of your business will purchase after a fourth interaction. All that simply reinforces is that people, again, buy from those they know, like, and trust, and therefore, there is a relationship established there. This more your price point increases for a product, a service, or a program, the more critical relationship leverage will become at influencing that sales transaction.
Now some relationships are going to need more time. Some are going to need less. But if you can understand that concept, that the majority of your business is found after a fourth interaction, you can continue forward with persistence and confidence that your results are coming with time.
Something else I’d like you to consider that goes along with that same study, is that 44% percent of all salespeople will quit after a first contact. Now that’s you and me. Whether you say I’m a business owner, I’m a vice president, an executive, I’m a network marketer, I’m a coach, I’m a healer – whatever titles that you have, we are all in sales. Sales is your ability to influence, persuade, communicate, and most importantly serve, is going to be found again in that relationship. That’s almost half, fifty percent, that would give up and quit right out of the gate. That’s if they even get started! According to this same data, they would make one contact, maybe one phone call, one voice mail, one e-mail, and if they don’t get the response they want, they’re done and they’re off looking for someone else. If you’re in the business of developing massive wealth, massive influence, then you’re going to need to be a little more persistent than that, and see it from a bigger perspective – see that you’re nurturing a relationship.
To finish up that data: forty-four percent will quit after a first contact, another twenty-four percent after a second contact, another fourteen percent after a third, and another twelve percent after a fourth contact. That means that ninety-four percent of all salespeople – business owners, healers, coaches, executives, will quit after a fourth contact.
44% quit after a 1st contact
24% quit after a 2nd contact
14% quit after a 3rd contact
12% quit after a 4th contact
Just entertain for just a moment for me. What results do you think the other 6% have? It’s probably pretty clear, right? When you study high achievers and performers in any industry, any organization, they have an essence of persistence and grit…that stick-to-it-ness that they’re going to continue on to nurture and develop. See, when someone tells you no, in a sales proposition, proposal, presentation, just remind yourself that it isn’t no forever. It’s just no for today. Remind yourself of this concept and the power of this research. The majority of your sales, sixty percent, will come after a fourth interaction. What I love most about that knowledge and awareness, is you can turn off all the voices in your head around, “Aw, maybe they don’t like me, maybe I offended them, they’re not interested.” Those thoughts are sabotaging your success. With this new knowledge you can simply trust that it just needs more time.
Maybe what you’ve told yourself, or maybe team members or employees or sales reps of yours are telling themselves, is, “Oh, they’re simply not interested.” Show them this blog. Get them to know the facts and the knowledge. Because what I love about knowing that information is it helps me stay anchored that I’m here of purpose, I’m here to serve them. I’m here to build relationships. When you’re in the business of relationships, you’re in the business of service, adding value, nourishing your network – when you show up and play life and your business from that angle, you can write your ticket. You’ll have whatever it is that you want if you’re faithful and persistent to give it the time that it needs.
When you find yourself discouraged or not closing the sales , consider what needs a little more time. When you find yourself saying, “Gosh, I’m making contacts, but not closing sales,” the difference between contacts and contracts is one letter – the letter “R.” That one letter difference – “R” – just simply stands for relationship. So if you’re making contacts, you’re reaching out, emails, invitations, lunches, phone calls, connecting, but you’re not getting the contracts – all it tells you is you need a little more time on the relationship. A little more time to nurture, connect, ask more, ask to serve, be a resource, add that value. I guarantee if you will be faithful and persistent, that is the magic sauce in life in creating whatever you want. Persistence always trumps talent. Life and sales and results don’t always go to the most attractive, the most educated, or the person with the best upbringing. Success and life and results go to the most faithful, the most persistent, which is you, if you choose it to be. Persistence is a choice, right? Being consistent in following up, and being willing to say, “I’m in it for the big payout, I’m in it to nurture relationships, to a point and a place where that I have multiple business referrals.” This starts to come in because you live this on a regular basis. Remind yourself, remind your team members, that their success, your success, hinges upon these principles: Life is sales. Sales are simply relationship. People buy from those they know, like and trust. You need a little more time potentially if you’re not converting as many contracts from your contacts – you need a little more time on nourishing the relationship aspect to your business.
Thanks for taking the time to nurture your brain. Be faithful. Be persistent. Continue to add value and you also will meet with success.
When you look at life and you study success, there’s this quote that says, “Success leaves clues.” When you want to create anything new in your life, you want to up-level it, create something brand new, create greater health, wealth, relationships, connectivity, happiness – it’s all found in your habits.
There is research out of Duke University that says forty percent of our daily actions are habitual. At least forty percent of daily actions, we’re not even consciously thinking about. Those are not conscious decisions. They are habits. Think about this: the way you drive into the office, or you get ready, or you brush your teeth, or you make a meal, or whatever it may be, there’s lots of times once we’ve learned how to do something and it becomes habitual, our brain goes into this subconscious auto-pilot. So the majority of our influence is going to be found in what habits we’re possessing, what we’re currently creating, and what we’re doing on a regular basis. It was Aristotle who said, “Excellence is not an act, but a habit.”
So when you think about that for yourself is – when you’re creating any new result, any new outcome, is to ask yourself – what habits do I need to have in place to create that outcome? I love the simple model “habits equal results.”
HABITS = RESULTS
It’s simple. It’s easy, right? But that’s where we have to engage a little bit more with our conscious brain, to become aware. We have to say what results do I want? And then to begin with the end in mind – what outcome do I want, what result do I want, then asking ourselves – what actions, what habits do I need to be employing and creating consistently on a regular basis?
There’s this simple process I teach in my seminars and workshops called the “5% more” exercise and it is simply that. Consider, if you were to take 5% more action or more responsibility for any area of your life, what would those things be?
I’m inviting you to make changes in your life. What you’re after is sustainable change. If you’re after sustainable change, then we need to look at your habits. What I love about the “5% more” is it’s the move-the-needle mindset, it’s after sustainability. Sometimes when we’re trying to make change, we go for pie-in-the-sky, big, huge goals. What’s going to sustain over time and create consistency and therefore the outcome is what you’re doing regularly, consistently, into your life, your business, your sales, your health, your relationships. We all know that what we do every once in a while can feel great, but it’s what we do regularly that creates the outcome that we want.
So consider this for me. I want you to write down in your notes or your notebook this concept of “5% more”. And I want you to go through multiple topics. On a blank sheet of paper at the very top say, if I were to take five percent more action on my health I would … – maybe you’d say I’d go to bed by 11:00 every night. I would drink more water. Be clear and specific how much water that would look like. You might say I would meditate on a regular basis, or I might go to yoga twice a week. If you were to take five percent more action for your health, what would those simple little changes be?
And then I want you to move next to sales or business. If you own your own business or if you’re in sales in some capacity or in any area of your life or your career, if I were to take five percent more action in my careeer/job or sales, I would… –maybe you say I would follow up with five more people every single week, I would go to lunch with a member of my network, I would create that newsletter and send it out on a regular basis, I would take that management training class or read that leadership book. But just small, simple things that can help you move the needle of progress.
Same thing I want you to do in your finances, in your relationships. Relationships, I love that one. Say if I were to take five percent more responsibility or more action for the connectivity or the quality of my relationships, I would ________ (fill in the blank for yourself).
What I love about this mindset is it puts you in the driver’s seat. You’re saying I am the creator of the quality of my life. I own that my results are on me. So how do I start to move the needle? What are the small simple things that, when done regularly and repetitively, create a powerful habit that then produces the outcome that you want?
One of my favorite success quotes of all time is the Zen proverb that says, “Before enlightenment: chopping wood, carrying water. After enlightenment: chopping wood, carrying water.” So much of life’s success is found one hundred percent in those habits, or in essence chopping that wood, carrying that water. That’s true for your health, right? Your health, where you’re at today in energy level, in vitality, in weight, has everything to do with your habits. Not what we do or eat every once in a while, it’s what we’re doing regularly that’s creating that current outcome. Same thing in our business. Same thing in our marriage or close personal relationships. Ask yourself that: what one habit do I need to implement? Consider this for yourself, for this week, this month, this year, – ask of yourself “What one habit would have the most impact in my life?”
And look at each category. What habit in your health, in your business, in your home, in your relationships, would have the most influence or the most impact? I love this thought process. Some people think, “Gosh, isn’t that thinking too small?” When you’re in the business of change, and you’re saying I want to help myself or help others change anything, small consistent change that we do regularly, it now becomes a habit. Now you’re into the sweet spot of creating what you want.
Cheering you on!