I’m excited to share with you a brand new video that I created just for you around a very real and relevant topic…
The Approval Addiction…and How To Take Your Power Back.
We’ve all experienced seeking approval and validation in someone or something outside of us. It’s part of being human.
Yet the challenge is we can sometimes give away our self esteem in the hustling and auditioning for outside approval.
Whether it’s validation from a parent we are seeking, the next credential or endless social media likes, it can be an easy trap to fall into and that steals our joy.
Are you stuck in seeking approval and validation from everyone and everything else outside of you?
Learning to show up for yourself by yourself is key to creating and cultivating thriving self esteem, self confidence, and greater sense of inner peace and joy.
Discover the 3 keys to take your own power back and thrive…
To view directly on YouTube, click here.
While you’re there, click subscribe so you can be the first to see other new video sessions as they are released. I have some great videos in store for you!
PS – Can I let you in on a little behind the scenes moment? Before shooting this video on approval, my amazing videographer offered his opinion that he wasn’t the biggest fan of my jeans for this video. He was on the fence. I thought about it and then told him, “Isn’t it ironic for this topic?” I smiled and said, Thank you yet I love these jeans and now I’m for sure wearing them.” He smiled and we laughed and then filmed this segment – enjoy!
Cheering you on in creating your own healthier, happier, authentic life!
The Evening Ritual
I’m excited to elaborate on part two in a three-part series of your Self Care = Success conversation. In part one of this series, we talked about the power of your Morning Ritual – how you’re waking yourself up, how you’re beginning your day, getting centered, getting grounded, investing in yourself, how you shape your day, to shape your energy, your focus, your passion, your enthusiasm, and your time. On the other side of the day is looking at your Evening Ritual and how you transition your day to sleep and preparation for the next day. The way you wake your brain up has massive influence to your life , results, and your success – and the same thing on the flip side is how are you putting your brain to bed?
Consider that. Do you just randomly get in bed at all different times of the night? Sometimes you’re in bed a 10:00 pm, sometimes it’s one in the morning, and it can be a range of time frames, right? And I’m not saying that everything has to scheduled to the exact minute, that isn’t how I live my life either. Yet it is having some awareness to how you’re showing up with your full wellness, including your sleep and reduction of stress in the evening. So let’s take a little inventory on the other side of your day – let’s look at your night. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high, one being low, do you have a regular, consistent evening ritual of how you transition your brain into going to bed or going to sleep? With the same scale, how would you currently rate your current quality of sleep? Are you sleeping well? Are you waking up energized with the day before you? Do you find yourself with lots of thoughts, and staying awake, or struggling with being able to turn off the mental chatter? Just tune into that. Do you feel like your day completes peacefully or in a hectic manner? Just simply become aware, and now with that new awareness you can ask yourself, “What would I rather experience in transitioning from day to sleep?”
Let’s take a deeper look at your evening ritual. There’s a couple of pieces and points I want you to consider. When you get clear on your ideal evening ritual, I want you to ask yourself, “When is my technology being turned off?” Some of you sleep with your technology, right? Like literally, it’s as if you’re cuddling that cute little iPhone or that Samsung or your iPad, whatever it might be. You might be a little too attached to that technology, right?
I have no judgement about it. Are there are times my technology has been in my bed? Yes. However, when we think about high-level living, conscious living, levels of creating high performance, I doubt it includes having our technology wrapped into us like a comfy blankie, right? So ask yourself, “When does my technology go off?” Does it always come in the room? Do you fall asleep to your technology, whether to a television or to the Internet or social media apps? What is that like for you? Now that you’re getting more clear, make a decision – when is my technology off for the most part? When is your ideal time frame to be complete with it? Maybe you give yourself a range within half an hour, typically, or an hour – decide what time frame your technology is off and out of your hands. I encourage you to have at least thirty minutes, ideally, that your technology turns off before going to bed or sleep. If you need to, you can start with fifteen or twenty. But fifteen to twenty to thirty minutes from the time you get off your technology before you try to go to sleep is the ideal range that working towards will support you increasing your high performance for the next day. Once your technology has been put to bed (pun intended!) that’s where we create a conscious evening ritual. Think of it as tucking yourself in, in a really gentle, kind way, that you’re taking better care of yourself so you can show up more fully present, passionate and alive with the people and the projects that matter most to you.
Now that your technology is off, consider implementing another success habit which is called Night Before Planning. If you’re especially the type of personality that keeps ruminating and thinking about all the things you need to do tomorrow, one thing that might help you tame that, and therefore sleep better, is to do a little night before planning. Outline what your number one priorities for the next day are, both personally and for business. Then list all the different tasks, or people you need to call, or follow up with. Some people keep a notebook right by their bed when ideas and inspirations come. But looking at your day of what’s to come the next day, you’re already starting to prepare successfully, to focus. Imagine when you wake up; you already have a game plan for the next day, and all night, your subconscious mind has been working those details out. I find that by writing it down, doing a little night-before planning, I’m creating a more peaceful night of sleep and a power surge to my productivity the next day. It’s like the weight is off, and I’ve put to bed all of the things that want to run around inside my brain, by writing them down. That might help support you as well.
Finally, consider what would feel like a restful activity for you. In that same thirty minutes, we’re off our technology, we’ve done a little night before planning, and now we are into some space to make a self care deposit. Whether that be reading, meditation, lighting a candle, making hot tea, taking a warm bath, writing a gratitude list from the day, or utilizing some products or essential oils that help you rest. Ask yourself, ‘What are restful activities for me? What would feel great and nourishing to me? What would be my ideal Evening Ritual to create?’ Keep in mind, this investment of a small amount of time, is a big deposit in your self care and thus your ultimate success in life and business. The way you put your brain to bed, has everything to do with the quality of sleep you’re receiving, which in turn has massive influence to how you begin your following day.
The topic of quality sleep is getting more and more attention today. Celebrity fitness trainer J.J. Virgin, who’s phenomenal in her content on weight loss and health and wellness, says if she can only pick only one weight loss tip it would be getting a quality seven to eight hours of sleep a night. There is also research surrounding the world’s wealthy. Looking at their attributes, (remember success always leaves clues) –the top one to three percent of the world’s wealthy, on average, get seven or more hours of sleep a night. Now that might contradict what you’ve thought before, that you need to burn the candle and need to work harder and more to make more money. The reality is – is the quality of your life and the quality of your relationships and your results has everything to do with the quality of your sleep and overall self care.
Make yourself a bigger priority in your life and become conscious of how you put yourself to sleep at night. Create your own turn-down time, and a little bit of time to just disconnect from the world, your technology, a little time to nurture yourself, maybe that hot tea, some journaling or reading a great book, some yoga, whatever may help put you in a more restful place, will be well worth every ounce and moment of that time to help increase the quality of your sleep, which then influences the next day, which then invests in your success– they just continue to grow upon one another.
You’re worth the time.
Try it out for 30 days and see the powerful impact of applying this effective success discipline. I look forward to hearing how it goes for you!
Cheering you on!
This may sound counter intuitive, but one of my solid, savvy SALES strategies is excellent self care.
And it may sound even more odd to you that in the last two years since I’ve gotten serious about my own self care (which means I’ve also worked LESS time on my biz), I’ve actually experienced more success in business growth and sales income. Yes, it’s true. I’ve worked less and made more money. And had more fun doing it.
Becoming more “selfish” may be the sales advice you need.
Let me sum it up succinctly:
Success in sales at the foundation is fueled by your degree of self confidence. People like to buy from confident people – it shows leadership. How you feel about yourself (physically, mentally, emotionally) has a direct impact on your self confidence.
So in essence your self care = self confidence = influence on sales success.
Does that make sense?
Plus, when you are fried, burned out, exhausted, always on demand to everyone else’s needs, are you showing up as your best, most positive self?
I doubt it.
See, we’ve been taught that being selfish is bad and being selfless is good.
And while I’m not talking about the extremity of narcissism and only thinking of yourself 24/7. I am asking you to consider that for many of you reading this right now (yes, you!), you’re likely in need of a self care tune up.
Last week in my own study, I read the following from Randy Gage in his new book, “Risky is the New Safe.” It’s worth reading twice…
Isn’t that juicy?!
So I have a few coaching questions & assignments for you to consider to help you increase your self care and increase your sales:
- Begin your day with even 10 minutes of personal time for just you. Pray, meditate, stretch, read, or journal. Keep the noisy world (cell phones, lap tops) out of your first sacred 10 minutes. Get grounded with you.
- Take an inventory on a blank piece of paper or inside a journal of, “What makes me happy? or When am I the happiest?” Let it free flow. Pick one to do this week off that list.
- Create an evening routine that helps you unplug from the world and technology and reconnect to yourself. Take a hot bath, read a book, or drink a warm tea. Put yourself to bed in a nurturing way.
- Ask yourself this question, “If I were to take 5% more action towards better self care, I would _______” and journal the ideas that come up for you. Pick one habit over the next 30 days to implement regularly.
- Get outside. Time in nature has proven to be one of the most grounding and healthy habits for one’s mind and body. Whether it’s your back yard or climbing Everest and everything in between, more time in the fresh air will help you.
- BONUS…indulge yourself every once in awhile. Buy the shoes. Get a pedicure. Play that round of 9 holes. Whatever you usually wait to do until it’s your birthday, surprise yourself with a sweet indulging “Just Because” you exist!
When you are nurturing yourself with awesome self care and priority, you have so much more to give to others…plus you have more joy doing it!
Try this out this next month, okay? And let me know how it goes. I would love to see you increase your self care and your sales this month!
Cheering you on!
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more.”
At some point in your studies or in your browsing of Facebook quotes, you’ve heard of the concept that what we focus on expands. Or in simple terms, we get more of what we give our attention to.
Have you ever noticed if you’re feeling bugged, annoyed, or simply blue, you can easily find more of those experiences to continue that feeling?
And the opposite is true too – when you’re feeling good, happy, grateful and excited about life that you can attract more of the feel good?
Gratitude is one of my favorite foundational success principles.
It cultivates happiness, contentment, and a positive personality that people want to be around.
It can also be the linchpin of creating success. A few years ago I was attending a business growth seminar by Brendon Burchard with 700 other people. David Bach, famous best selling author of all the financial education books such as The Automatic Millionaire, was an attendee in the audience. Brendon had David come up on stage for just a few minutes. Brendon asked David to sum up and share his number one success strategy. David’s response? “I’ve written down a few things each day that I’m grateful for and I believe that has made all the difference.” Of all the things he could say or express, he chose gratitude. It reinforced to me what already rang true in my heart.
Fostering an attitude of gratitude keeps us grounded to the good. It opens our eyes, hearts, and minds to possibilities. It helps us attract opportunities and cultivate positive relationships.
Now, it’s not always “easy” to do so, especially when life has served us up some form of struggle that is sucking up our attention – financial fears, relationship struggles, loneliness, health issues, or a myriad of other life “stuff” to navigate. However, if this is you right now, this principle is even more important for you. This could be the lifeline for you turning your situation around. Science and research has proved that our attitudes and disposition has a direct influence on our lives and our health.
Have you made a gratitude deposit lately?
Here are a few quick suggestions to get you in the flow and feeling better, happier, and more optimistic:
1.) Make a gratitude list. Simple enough write a list of the things you’re thankful for.
- You woke up today.
- You can read this email.
- You have a computer or mobile device; therefore
- you have great opportunities.
- Your health, relationships, your home, etc.
- Good books, nature, your faith
- And so on…
2.) Acknowledge someone else for what you’re grateful for in them. By appreciating others, you’re making a positive deposit that has a contagious effect on you.
3.) During the first few minutes that you awake and the last few minutes before going to sleep, say out loud or think in your thoughts the things you are grateful for. Our minds are most potent as we drift off to sleep and as we awake. Make gratitude your focus points to begin and complete your day.
This month I invite you to get swept up in the power of gratitude in your own life. Allow yourself to feel grateful, even for and especially with the little things that bring joy to your life. Be grateful for YOU and all that you’re striving for in your life. Your life makes a difference.
I am so grateful that we are connected. Your stories, sharing, and inspiring lives touches my heart and motivates me on my own path. Thank you for being willing to live your own unique path.
Cheering you on!
In my hometown, the season of Fall is in full bloom. The beautiful and bold yellow, reds, and orange leaves have made their debut. The temperatures have chilled off and the wool socks and hot cocoas are being gratefully enjoyed in my home. There are pumpkins on the porch and delicious Fall flavored candles lit each day.
One of my favorite quotes from Henry David Thoreau is this one:
“Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of earth.”
I love Fall and everything about this season. (Can you tell?)
Seasons changing in our own lives is just as real as the changing of the seasons of the earth. The one constant in life is change and like the thought by Thoreau suggests, embrace each season as it comes.
Although change can tend to bring up fears and discomfort, what is really at play is embracing the uncertainty of the unknown – this is true whether your fear is of failure or of success. When we are leaving behind what is familiar and heading into unknown territory it’s common and normal for fear and second guessing to come forward for you to address.
I invite you to face the fear, walk through it, and you will see that you are stronger, more capable, and simply more fantastic than you previously knew.
Now, some changes come to us that are unwelcomed, unplanned for, and simply hurt. This could be loss in any form – loved ones, job, health, relationship, you name it. Loss is a grieving process of letting go of what once was in your life and/or relationships. I honor that sacred space and there is a need for grief and healing. If you’re in a major transition, please make sure to reach out and get support around you.
I do know that even with the greatest of heartaches, there are opportunities for growth and claiming of a new chapter of life. I have learned even in my own deepest heartaches in certain seasons of my life that even those heartbreaks contained powerful lessons for me to soak in.
Whether the change you’re facing this season is of a major magnitude or the smaller, move the needle type of changes, here are a few questions to help you navigate change:
- What is this here to teach me? What is the lesson of this experience?
- What’s the gift of this new season?
- Why am I resisting this change? What’s the fear really about? What if I could surrender versus struggle with this change?
- What would I rather experience or create in my life?
- What small change can I make today that with time will have the greatest influence?
I also find that activities like increased self care (exercise, rest, & nutrition) and surrounding ourselves with positive and loving people, books, or materials can help during the change process.
I would invite you to consider that change is also to be celebrated too, right? All to often we’re resisting change or in fear of it. Yet consider this, for many of you if your life was the exact same 10 years from today, you would be miserable! Change gives life a lot of juice, excitement, new adventure & discovery, and allows for even greater things, people, and opportunities to come to us. Change can get a bad rap, but it’s also that same change that gives you growth, meaning, purpose, and opportunities!
Consider this…just what if life was always working for your highest good? Hmmm….
Just what if we could trust a little more and doubt a little less?…of life, others, ourselves, etc.?
Just what if we could resign ourselves (surrender) to the season we are in, even if it’s painful and ouchy and scary and gleam the juicy gems and insights that are waiting to be seen?
Just what if change really does come bearing gifts?
I echo the classic sentiments expressed many years ago…
“To everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven.”
There is purpose to the season you are in. There are many things to be grateful for no matter what swirls around us. Embrace the changes you’re facing, allow them to teach you, and celebrate that life has great things in store for you (uncertainty wrapped in excitement).
“Change comes bearing gifts…” – Price Pritchett.
Cheers to you fellow traveler of change.
There are lots of things, events, and outcomes we cannot control –
and we can create a lot of drama, struggle, and misery in our lives trying to do so…
A few weeks ago I wrote a lengthy Facebook post (see image below) that contained my own personal aha and awareness for the life event that I was facing – competing in eWomen Network’s North America’s Next Greatest Speaker Contest in Dallas, Texas.
I had been selected as a Top Ten Finalist (thank you for voting for me!!!) amongst over 1,000 applications. Talk about humbled. And talk about the internal pressure that I felt at times to “perform”. I was definitely putting myself out there and even asking others to “judge” me and my heart so the emotions at times were ripe for the learning.
So in my preparing for this experience, early one morning I had this awareness that took my power back from the fear, the perfectionism, the outcome…I can only control how I SHOW UP – and how I choose to experience this or any experience.
In life at times, you will face heartache, struggle, and challenge.
Some times people will lie about you or betray you.
Or politics may win out.
Others may criticize you.
They may say “no” to your offer, services, or product.
Your book might be rejected 144 times before you get a yes.
Your date request denied.
You may not make the honor roll, get the lead in the play, or get into the school of your choice the first time around. Or second. Or third.
You may be passed up for the promotion.
You may not be included.
You might be ignored.
You may not hit the rank you want when you want.
__________ insert your own here.
There are many more scenarios that all lead to the same point:
You can’t control the outcome.
You can only control how you SHOW UP.
How do you choose to SHOW UP regardless of the outcome?
Here is the full post written in it’s own authentic, inspired form:
For me, there is great peace in focusing on the only thing I can always control, influence, or direct in my life: how I show up.
And like I said in my post, I choose to show up and play full out.
My heart on the line.
To give my best and the best service I can, whether they say yes or no.
So that’s the thought to ponder this week…in your life and in your experiences, how will you choose to show up?
There are many things, people, and outcomes we cannot control. We can influence yes, control, no. By muddling with trying to control the outcome, we create our own misery.
Our power, attention, and energy I find is best suited to be focused where the choice is 100% ours – with ourselves and how we choose to play the game of life being served right now.
Release the outcome.
And focus on showing up powerfully present, fully engaged, and loving no matter what.
That’s a life worth living… regardless of the outcome.
With great love & respect for your path,