I’m excited to share with you a brand new video that I created just for you around a very real and relevant topic…
The Approval Addiction…and How To Take Your Power Back.
We’ve all experienced seeking approval and validation in someone or something outside of us. It’s part of being human.
Yet the challenge is we can sometimes give away our self esteem in the hustling and auditioning for outside approval.
Whether it’s validation from a parent we are seeking, the next credential or endless social media likes, it can be an easy trap to fall into and that steals our joy.
Are you stuck in seeking approval and validation from everyone and everything else outside of you?
Learning to show up for yourself by yourself is key to creating and cultivating thriving self esteem, self confidence, and greater sense of inner peace and joy.
Discover the 3 keys to take your own power back and thrive…
To view directly on YouTube, click here.
While you’re there, click subscribe so you can be the first to see other new video sessions as they are released. I have some great videos in store for you!
PS – Can I let you in on a little behind the scenes moment? Before shooting this video on approval, my amazing videographer offered his opinion that he wasn’t the biggest fan of my jeans for this video. He was on the fence. I thought about it and then told him, “Isn’t it ironic for this topic?” I smiled and said, Thank you yet I love these jeans and now I’m for sure wearing them.” He smiled and we laughed and then filmed this segment – enjoy!
Cheering you on in creating your own healthier, happier, authentic life!
I’m thrilled to be sharing one of my very favorite topics of all time, the power of excellent self care! This is part one in a three-part series, sharing with you some tips and tools to help you up level your self care so you increase your confidence, which in turn will increase your results.
When you think about yourself, I want you to take a simple inventory for me. Grab a piece of paper, or pull out your iPad to take some notes with. On a scale of one to ten, ten being high and one being low, I just want you to take an inventory. And there’s no right or wrong answer to this, it’s just being honest with yourself and where you are. As you think about your current physical well-being, your sleep quality, your energy level, your – just being in your body, where would you currently rate your physicality on a scale of 1 to 10? Where would you currently rank how well you feel physically?
RATE your PHYSICAL HEALTH on a scale of 1-10
Secondly, I want you to look at spiritually – your purpose, your passion, your connection to your Higher Power, whether that be God, Source, the Universe, feeling alive and grateful, peacefulness, joy, that your life has purpose and power, and that you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. On the same thing, scale of one to ten, ten high, one low, where would you currently rate your own spiritual connectivity to yourself and to life?
RATE your SPIRITUAL CONNECTION on a scale of 1-10
And third, I want you to consider the mental component of feeling stimulated – feeling like you’re reading good books or that you’re learning, that you’re growing, that you feel excited about life and projects, and that there’s time to read or nurture your brain and things that matter to you. It could be time also for hobbies that matter to you as well. When it comes to that component, the mental/emotional side of your life, one to ten, how comfortable, how happy, how progressive do you currently feel life is for you – again same thing, scale of one to ten. There’s no judgment here, it’s just being aware of where you’re starting and what you want to create.
RATE your MENTAL FULFILLMENT on a scale of 1-10
Sometimes when I’m coaching people, their number one goal in hiring me or coming to one of my events is they want to grow their sales and their income. It’s a great goal to have, right? I help a lot of people do just that. I always start with self care, no matter what client or group I’m working with. The level of their current self care directly impacts their self confidence, and their self confidence, directly impacts their sales and results.
“Your self worth will equal your net worth.”
– Jim Rohn
I believe you are your number one asset. It’s like the goose and the golden eggs. I know that’s an old fable that’s been told for many years, yet the concept is true. You may be saying, “I want more golden eggs,” or “I want bigger, brighter, shinier golden eggs,” then we simply must take care of the goose that’s producing that outcome.
Sometimes we get that backwards. We say, “I want more outcome, more production, more revenue, more sales, more income – that means I’m going to have to burn the candle at both ends, and push push push push myself to exhaustion.” You can only do that for so long before that will catch up to you. At the core of your success is your confidence level, and underneath confidence is your self-worth and esteem that’s fueled by your self care.
See, unfortunately for many of you, the only time you’re really doing anything of a self care nature is Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or your birthday. It’s as if you’ve got to have a special day just to go do something kind for yourself or to be recognized without the guilt of feeling selfish or lazy. I’m asking you, as your coach, to up-level your self care, that you take better care of yourself so you can see, feel, and experience the results of greater success, sales, and enjoyment of life.
The first habit I want to focus on here in part one is what’s called the Morning Ritual. You probably at some point have heard the concept of having a power hour. Now I don’t call it power hour because that indicates it needs to be a full hour, and for many of you, you’re saying, “I hardly have a few minutes to myself, let alone a full hour.” Anytime we’re trying to establish a new habit, I want you to think in terms of “move the needle” for sustainable progress. I care more about creating the habit than the amount of time.
Let’s look at a morning ritual. An ideal morning ritual has three components to it: spiritual, mental and physical. Spiritual is how you connect to what makes you feel connected spiritually – to your Higher Power, to Source, God, your Maker – there are a variety of different names or titles. Ideally your morning starts by getting connected spiritually. That might be prayer, meditation, reading or listening to something that inspires your heart or your soul, some journalling, some gratitude listing, etc. I want you to feel more connected spiritually. CONNECTION is the point of these activities. Gratitude listing and making a gratitude journal is a great way to do that. List out for yourself – what are a few activities that would help you feel connected spiritually? Now that might take two minutes, and that might take twenty minutes – that’s entirely up to you.
What CONNECTS you spiritually?
Second would be mental. And the way I describe or define the mental component to your morning ritual is anything that stimulates possibility or personal growth. That might be looking at your vision board, that might be reviewing your goals, that might be visualization of the things you’re wanting to attract. It could also be reading great books, personal development, that stimulates your brain. Research has proven that the world’s wealthiest people, on average, read thirty minutes a day of content that stimulates their brain, develops their craft – it’s some form of personal or professional development. So reading would be here as well. You could read, again visualize, review your goals, look at your vision board, but something that stimulates possibility and growth.
Are you INVESTING in your personal growth?
And third is physical, getting your body moving. Now some of you might say, “I don’t have time to do a full workout,” right? This could be a few yoga poses or stretches, or a series of sit ups or push-ups, to get your body moving. It could be a brisk walk around your neighborhood. Whether it’s a full workout or a few minutes of stretching, what matters is that you make the deposit. The time amount is entirely up to you.
Are you moving your body, even if it’s a little bit of time?
Let’s talk time. All I ask of each of you – to implement and live consistently – is the habit I call The Sacred Ten. That at minimum, the first ten minutes of your day gets to be invested into you. You’ve got at least 1o minutes. Begin your day with YOU – not your cell phone, Facebook, or email. Again, I don’t care how much time you commit to it. It isn’t about quantity, it’s about quality. What does matter – Are you connecting and nurturing yourself on a daily basis? I invite you to consider that if you’re starting your day, every day, on the agenda of someone else, your self-worth is not in your own hands, right? Far too often we might start our day on our smart phones looking at Instagram or Facebook or jumping into our email. Many of you are parents, and you might immediately be into parenting role. Ideally you’re going to get up at least ten to fifteen minutes before your children, and before you touch your phone and look at all of that data – you’re going to invest in you. Getting to your own life first, rather than reading about everyone else’s life on social media or your inbox which is often the agenda of other people. You’re worth the investment.
You’re worth it. You’re worthy and deserving of that. And the repercussion, the results – is when you start your day positively, you’re shaping your day for awesome experiences. And truthfully, your days become your weeks and your months and your years – is it’s how you start that day definitely shapes your life, shapes your success, and your results. Starting today or tomorrow morning with that Sacred Ten – that you put the first ten minutes of your day into you to get nurtured and centered before you move into your roles with other people.
If you want more tips and tools, to stay connected with me, I’d love to do so. Go to Tiffanyspeaks.com and make sure to claim your FREE training to maximize your goals. You can also find me on Facebook at Coach Tiffany Peterson. I look forward to seeing you in future segments, parts two and three of this self care series, and I look forward to connecting with you then!
When you look at life and you study success, there’s this quote that says, “Success leaves clues.” When you want to create anything new in your life, you want to up-level it, create something brand new, create greater health, wealth, relationships, connectivity, happiness – it’s all found in your habits.
There is research out of Duke University that says forty percent of our daily actions are habitual. At least forty percent of daily actions, we’re not even consciously thinking about. Those are not conscious decisions. They are habits. Think about this: the way you drive into the office, or you get ready, or you brush your teeth, or you make a meal, or whatever it may be, there’s lots of times once we’ve learned how to do something and it becomes habitual, our brain goes into this subconscious auto-pilot. So the majority of our influence is going to be found in what habits we’re possessing, what we’re currently creating, and what we’re doing on a regular basis. It was Aristotle who said, “Excellence is not an act, but a habit.”
So when you think about that for yourself is – when you’re creating any new result, any new outcome, is to ask yourself – what habits do I need to have in place to create that outcome? I love the simple model “habits equal results.”
HABITS = RESULTS
It’s simple. It’s easy, right? But that’s where we have to engage a little bit more with our conscious brain, to become aware. We have to say what results do I want? And then to begin with the end in mind – what outcome do I want, what result do I want, then asking ourselves – what actions, what habits do I need to be employing and creating consistently on a regular basis?
There’s this simple process I teach in my seminars and workshops called the “5% more” exercise and it is simply that. Consider, if you were to take 5% more action or more responsibility for any area of your life, what would those things be?
I’m inviting you to make changes in your life. What you’re after is sustainable change. If you’re after sustainable change, then we need to look at your habits. What I love about the “5% more” is it’s the move-the-needle mindset, it’s after sustainability. Sometimes when we’re trying to make change, we go for pie-in-the-sky, big, huge goals. What’s going to sustain over time and create consistency and therefore the outcome is what you’re doing regularly, consistently, into your life, your business, your sales, your health, your relationships. We all know that what we do every once in a while can feel great, but it’s what we do regularly that creates the outcome that we want.
So consider this for me. I want you to write down in your notes or your notebook this concept of “5% more”. And I want you to go through multiple topics. On a blank sheet of paper at the very top say, if I were to take five percent more action on my health I would … – maybe you’d say I’d go to bed by 11:00 every night. I would drink more water. Be clear and specific how much water that would look like. You might say I would meditate on a regular basis, or I might go to yoga twice a week. If you were to take five percent more action for your health, what would those simple little changes be?
And then I want you to move next to sales or business. If you own your own business or if you’re in sales in some capacity or in any area of your life or your career, if I were to take five percent more action in my careeer/job or sales, I would… –maybe you say I would follow up with five more people every single week, I would go to lunch with a member of my network, I would create that newsletter and send it out on a regular basis, I would take that management training class or read that leadership book. But just small, simple things that can help you move the needle of progress.
Same thing I want you to do in your finances, in your relationships. Relationships, I love that one. Say if I were to take five percent more responsibility or more action for the connectivity or the quality of my relationships, I would ________ (fill in the blank for yourself).
What I love about this mindset is it puts you in the driver’s seat. You’re saying I am the creator of the quality of my life. I own that my results are on me. So how do I start to move the needle? What are the small simple things that, when done regularly and repetitively, create a powerful habit that then produces the outcome that you want?
One of my favorite success quotes of all time is the Zen proverb that says, “Before enlightenment: chopping wood, carrying water. After enlightenment: chopping wood, carrying water.” So much of life’s success is found one hundred percent in those habits, or in essence chopping that wood, carrying that water. That’s true for your health, right? Your health, where you’re at today in energy level, in vitality, in weight, has everything to do with your habits. Not what we do or eat every once in a while, it’s what we’re doing regularly that’s creating that current outcome. Same thing in our business. Same thing in our marriage or close personal relationships. Ask yourself that: what one habit do I need to implement? Consider this for yourself, for this week, this month, this year, – ask of yourself “What one habit would have the most impact in my life?”
And look at each category. What habit in your health, in your business, in your home, in your relationships, would have the most influence or the most impact? I love this thought process. Some people think, “Gosh, isn’t that thinking too small?” When you’re in the business of change, and you’re saying I want to help myself or help others change anything, small consistent change that we do regularly, it now becomes a habit. Now you’re into the sweet spot of creating what you want.
Cheering you on!
There is nothing more influential to your success, your sales, your income, your business, your relationships, your health, than that of the attitude that you’re carrying with you in life. I want you to consider this concept by Stephen Covey where he says, “We see the world as the way that we are, not the way that it necessarily is.” Your attitude, in essence, is this concept of seeing through, say, a lens, right? Let’s say you’re wearing a sweet pair of shades. You’re going to see life a little differently with the lens that you’re seeing them through. Now consider, what if you were wearing shades that were zebra print, or pink, or orange, or hot fuchsia? That would definitely color the way that you’re seeing and playing life. I want you to become aware that the way you’re seeing things is definitely shaping the life, the results, and the outcome that you’re experiencing.
One of my favorite quotes comes from Albert Einstein, where he says, “The most important decision that we ever make as human beings is: Do I live in a hostile Universe or a friendly Universe?” In other words, is life working in your favor, or is life working against you and out to get you? I know it sounds like such a simple thing, but it’s monumental to the life and the results that you’re creating.
Now here’s the thing – It’s a choice.
Your attitude is a choice.
It’s a decision.
It isn’t something that you just were born with, like blue eyes, or brown, or green eyes. It’s something that you have a choice to – that you get to shape and you get to influence. So I invite you to consider that. What is your chosen belief and chosen attitude? I know for myself, a few years ago I made up my mind to believe, consciously, I made the choice to believe that life is always working for my highest good, my highest favor. Now can I prove that? Absolutely not. However, what kind of results do you think I always keep creating if I choose to have the lens that life’s always working out for me? Even when I go through the tough stuff, the heartbreak, the challenge, the mishap, something that doesn’t work out, a disappointment – like the rest of you – all of those things I go through too, yet because I choose to believe that life is working in my favor, I can always find the lesson, the nugget, the silver lining or in my life, seeing how God’s hand has been directing me.
I love the scripture in Romans 8:28 that says, “All things work together for your good, for those that love God.” Now however you hold this space for God, Source, the Universe, Life, I don’t care what title you use – but that Higher Power in your life of choosing to believe and to trust that it is working out for you favorably. Now again, that’s a choice and a decision.
A couple of years ago I went through a mentoring program with Jack Canfield. It was a powerful, very influential experience in my life. He’s a dear friend and mentor. And he exposed me to one of the most powerful, profound life formulas I’ve ever read, listened to, or been taught. And it’s simply this: E + R equals O. I’ll show it to you. Pretty simple: the E stands for event, the R stands for response, and O stands for outcome.
Event + Response = Outcome
See, we all have a variety of different events all the time. There are small things to big things, right? Things that we perceive as positive, perceive as negative. Things that we are ecstatic with joy over, and things that break our hearts, and a lot of life in between all of that. But you always have the power to choose how you respond, right? This is where the power center comes in for you, is right here – is saying, “Okay, here’s the event, here’s my chosen response, now here’s the outcome.”
Years ago there was this Lexus dealership in southern California and they hit into some pretty challenging times in terms of economics. What that challenging economic time provided for that sales team was to get creative, to dig deep. They started driving out their cars to country clubs and high-end hotels, and more and more people started driving their cars. Now what happens when you drive a new car? Even if you have a nice car, when you drive that new car, you start to have that experience where you are now attached and wanting your own new car. Their sales went up significantly, even more than what they had done prior to the economic downturn. So what did that event create for them? They had to choose to respond. Now could they sit around the coffee break room and complain and whine about the challenges they were facing? Sure, and maybe they did at some point. But they ultimately got creative and innovative to dig deep to respond to the event they were up against to shape their outcome.
This is true for you, for me, for every one of us on this planet. What I love about the studies that are coming forward in personal development and spiritual psychology is we’re studying more and more about happiness. Sometimes you might be thinking the thought that “once I’m successful, then I’ll be happy,” where ironically, you’ve got to flip those. Because what we find is that people who are happy tend to create more and more success.
So I invite you to become aware, a conscious decision, today, that says this, “I choose to be happy. I choose to believe that life is working in my favor. I choose to show up with passion and life and enthusiasm.” You have that choice. It’s yours to make.
Thanks so much for reading – tune in next week for my next segment.
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Cheering you on!
Are you setting yourself up for fun or failure?
The holidays are upon us. More than upon us, they’re here! (insert my own squeal of excitement!)
Regardless of how or who you celebrate this holiday season, the holidays can become a source of stress versus joy all too easily.
To help you navigate and CREATE your ideal holiday season, I have a short video clip for you from a former television segment I did for my local NBC affiliate a few years ago. These nuggets and tips are as relevant today in helping you manage all the expectations, gatherings, and even help you say NO when needed this coming month.
Create more joy and less stress this season!
click the video to watchGet clear on your top priorities this holiday season and let the rest go. Wishing you much JOY as you experience this holiday season!
The Heavy Heart…
Perhaps right now, your heart is aching. You may be facing great uncertainty in your life, your finances, your marriage, health, or career. Your circumstances may find you currently out of work or behind on your bills. You may be feeling lonely and unloved. Or you feel overwhelmed and frazzled and Christmas has become one more source of stress versus joy.
If I may, I’d like to speak directly to the heavy hearted this Christmas season. Last night as I was going to bed, I had the clear impression and inspiration to write this email. I thought it interesting considering it wasn’t planned nor the traditional holiday wishes. Yet, it was clear and inspired so here it is.
I too know what it’s like to have a Christmas where your heart is breaking. Where you feel so alone, scared, unsure, or simply without the joy of Christmas in your heart. Years ago at Christmas, I found my marriage in shambles and my heart broken. As one who typically loves the holidays with great passion, that year I couldn’t wait for December 26th to get here. I was sad, scared, and really unsure of where my life was going. Yet in the midst of that darkness, there were many glimmers of hope and light from God, angels, and dear family and friends – if I chose to see them. It was a time of great seeking and searching to know what to do, where to turn, and what choices to make. And in that searching, I did experience many choice spiritual experiences that touched my heart in a profound way.
Although I may not know the details of what you’re going through, I do know the following truths apply to you, your life and potential, and what is available to you.
- You are never alone. Ever. No matter what it “feels” like, you are not alone. You have a Maker who knows you and your needs and who loves and cares for you. You are always surrounded by LOVE and you are being watched over.
- God/Universe/Angels wait to assist you to guide your path and your decisions. They can never force anything so it is up to us to ask for their divine help and direction. They are always available, no matter where you’re at or the struggles you’re facing.
- From our greatest struggles can come our greatest strengths. There are lessons within your challenges. Go to meditation, prayer, or reflection and ask yourself, “What is this here to teach me? What is the gift of this?” As Napoleon Hill once taught, “With every adversity is the seed of greater opportunity.” There are gems for you where you are right now, even if you can’t see them just yet.
- Focus on what you are grateful for right now, no matter how small it may seem. Gratitude changes our heart and our mindset. It helps us to see the bright, glimmers of hope and goodness and in doing so, it can help your heavy heart feel lighter.
- “The best way to heal a broken heart is to serve others.” I heard this advice in the thick of my heavy hearted season. It was simple, true, and profound for me. It’s been said that when we lift others, we lift ourselves. I find this to be true. Reach out to someone else – offer a compliment, offer to help, buy their coffee in line, or some other gesture that serves someone else. When we focus on helping others, we do help ourselves.
- Finally, increase your self care. Watch your favorite movie or cuddle up with a good book. Take a hot bath or make your favorite treat. Increase doing kind things for yourself that bring you joy or happiness. When our hearts our heavy, it’s important to be kind and loving towards ourselves.
The true spirit of Christmas or the spirit of the Season as you may say, is about a special feeling, about love, about a certain attitude more than it is about anything external. If you look for it, through the darkness and sadness you may be feeling right now, there are embers of hope, love, and peace within.
I promise you that LIFE has great things in store for you. I promise you that you will not always feel so heavy hearted. I promise you that your Maker is with you, even now, to comfort you and guide your steps. There will be seasons of joy for you.
If this speaks to you, if this was written for you, I send a prayer for you with this email that you may feel hope and love within these words and within your heart this day.
Bless you, sweet warrior. You have what it takes to prevail and you will get through whatever you’re facing.
With great love for you,