No matter what you “sell” you’re in the PEOPLE business.
Learning to build and nourish relationships is at the core of your success in the home and success in your career & business life.
Many times we’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s not what you know, but WHO you know that matters.” And the reason it’s said so often is because at some level it’s true.
Relationships are everything to your sales, income, and business success. You likely already know that on some level so I’d like to share with you today 5 tips to help you nourish, rekindle, or grow your existing or desired networks.
1. Appreciation. Take time to appreciate people in your life and network. Human beings crave appreciation, acknowledgement, and recognition. Send an email, give a call, or post on social media your gratitude for the people in your life who you appreciate. A wise mentor of mine had me get into the habit of appreciating 5 to 10 people every day. That could be verbal, email, handwritten, etc. but to express appreciation to those in our networks. Many times we think those thoughts, yet to ACT on them and express them.
“Spread love wherever you go. Let no one come to you without leaving happier.”
– Mother Theresa
2. The WOW Factor. People who invest in the WOW factor stand out in business. The WOW Factor is doing something for your network, clients, prospects that they’re not expecting – it could be a gift, a product, a card, or an extra bonus they receive that they’re not expecting. The “Just Because” experience that has significant impact in relationships. For example, every event I host, participants come into the seminar room with a free product on each chair. This product isn’t advertised or told to them in sales copy – it’s a surprise when they arrive. It costs me a little amount of money (or even sponsored on occasion) that helps my guests feel special or appreciated. You could do something similar – send a gift, offer a free bonus, or treat them to lunch. It’s wise not to give a gift and then ask for something in return at the same time. Give gifts or offers as stand alone to have the greatest impact. I’ve seen others gift a gift, yet in the next sentence ask for something in return. That often leaves the person feeling like it’s a trade with you versus an investment in them.
3. Promote. A great way to nourish your relationships is to promote them to other people. You may post on social media endorsing their product or service. You may create an email introduction of two people that could possibly do business together. By promoting other people and helping them grow their business, you grow your relationship with them. You’re becoming a valued resource who is helping others succeed.
4. Be Present. A great gift in any relationship is to be present with the person you’re with – whether at home, in a meeting, or connecting one on one. Put your cell phone away and really focus on what the person is saying and communicating. We can all tell if someone is paying attention to us or not by many non verbal cues. If you want someone to feel important when with you act as if they are the only person in the room. Learning to listen is a highly prized and very rare skill, yet an incredible deposit in your relationships.
5. Stay Connected. If we only go to our networks when we need something, we’ll likely drain that network pretty quickly. Others will learn that you only call or reach out when you need something. It’s important to focus on being someone who is connected and actively making relationship deposits. Deposits demonstrate that we are invested in the relationship and deposits come in many forms. When we make the effort to stay connected and in touch with our networks, we have real, thriving relationships versus just acquaintances.
Wayne Dyer has said, “It’s never crowded along the extra mile.” If you want to thrive in life and in business, nourish your relationships and go the extra mile. Become a master at connection, listening, follow up, and supporting others. Give value to get valued as Danielle LaPorte has said. Your results will improve along side of having relationships that are rich and meaningful.
Coaching Assignment:
Appreciate 3 people in your life and/or business networks within the next 24 hours.
Send a card, gift, or bonus to someone in your network or to your list. “Just because” gifts go a long way!
Identify 3 people that you want to have a better relationship with or get to know altogether. Reach out, promote them, ask them to lunch or a Skype chat. Take action to nourish your network!
Okay, phew! I just said it. I feel like I just jumped off the symbolic cliff with you. I just put it out there. And now I feel a bit vulnerable and free all at the same time.
I’ve been “thinking” about writing a book for a long time. People say that it’s good for business, great for credibility, and will open many doors. And while that’s true I assume, that isn’t my driving motivation.
Nearly six months ago I attended a women’s retreat and during a meditation by the ocean I had a divine, sacred experience where I felt called to share what’s in my heart. It’s as if a seed was then planted that has been gestating and it’s now beginning to come forth. It’s about me answering a call from my Divine, my heart and willing to walk in this path, even though it’s scares me and brings up lots of my unpretty stuff.
Last weekend I participated in a virtual workshop retreat to write a book in a weekend – it was awesome – great coaching, collaboration, and passion and I made significant progress. And then I hit the wall.
I’m aware that when we approach change and growth that our stuff or limiting beliefs can come up. I coach that everyday. So I was very logical about going into this weekend, yet then I hit my own wall. I was stuck, I was overwhelmed, feeling like I wanted to just check out and shut down.
As I got curious about what was up for me and gave voice to it, I became aware that my stuff sounded like this, “Who am I to write this book? I’m just a regular girl. What will others think of me?” And then the big one surfaced – “what if I can’t live up to my content (core success principles) all the time? I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. And I feel incredibly vulnerable putting myself out there.”
I cried. Hot tears cried. And then breathed. And then received some love and support from dear friends who “just happened” to reach out when the meltdown was happening, including my workshop partner & dear friend, Michelle. God is really so cool with how He puts people on our path in the moment we need them. And none of them “fixed” it for me – that’s my work with myself and my Maker. Yet held the love and space to say, “Tiff, it’s okay to be vulnerable. You’re writing this to honor a calling, honoring God. You’re writing this for those who are seeking it.” And then I breathed some more and felt a sense of peaceful calm. And went on to knock it out of the park.
Being vulnerable is the path of the courageous, the path of greatness.
Whether that be in the form of writing a book, taking a stand for a cause or beliefs we have, asking for a sale, communicating our needs to our partner, or any other form where we tell our own truth or take a real or perceived risk.
There are reactions we receive in putting ourselves out there – we could experience judgment, criticism, or rejection. We could also experience love, sales, connection, and fulfillment by willing to risk and be vulnerable.
It often appears that hiding our vulnerability – acting as if we’re tough, know it all, are perfectly put together, and stuffing or distracting our vulnerability – will protect us, yet in reality it limits us from living a more expressed life.
Last Spring I was introduced to a great thought leader, Brene Brown and her TED talk video. It moved me to the core. She now has a best selling book, “Daring Greatly” and has recently been featured on the popular Oprah program, Super Soul Sunday. This topic is trending big time. Take a watch and see why:
Coaching Assignment:
So I’m sharing with you what is up for me and creating my own path of vulnerability… so you can get the most out of the time you’ve invested in reading this article, take a breath of courage and consider for yourselves…
Where in my life or what in my life am I avoiding or putting off?
What one goal – greater connection, intimacy, writing your book, asking for that sale – do you know in your gut that you need to ask for or go for?
Are you willing to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there?
Yes, your work may be judged, like mine will be. Yes, your work will be praised, like mine will be. Yes, you may get a no, get turned down, told no, or have to make uncomfortable decisions. Yes, you may get a yes, get accepted, and get exactly what you wanted. We never know unless we’re willing to be vulnerable.
I have learned for myself that the more I am authentic and allow myself to share all of me, especially the vulnerable sides, that I experience life and connections at a fuller expression of living. Vulnerability makes life more beautiful…more real, deep, and alive! And that’s a choice I’m choosing to make.
Regardless of how you feel about them, it’s estimated that by January 24th of the New Year, 92% of people have abandoned them. Big time commitment issues, right?
Yes. And perhaps the ever bigger issue is that for most people they set themselves up to fail with the following common challenges:
Set pie in the sky goals = unrealistic
Set goals that are all or nothing = perfect or bust
Set goals that are vague = lack of clear direction
Can you relate to any of those challenges yourself?
I know I’ve been guilty of them as well myself. I use to have the running joke that my New Year’s Resolutions could be the same list laminated and simply change out the year with a dry erase marker.
But regardless of the negative stigma attached to New Year resolutions, I do believe in goals with all my heart. I am a huge fan of having goals and I’m a bigger fan of having realistic action steps that feel doable to follow through on.
Goals to me are like the guideposts or lighthouses if you will that guide my path and grant navigational points that assist me to consciously create the life and results I desire.
So here are a few tips that help me create goals that I can truly COMMIT to…
Decide what I want. Sounds simple, right? You’d be surprised of how often people are not clear on what they want. They can rattle off a list of things they don’t want, are sick & tired of, etc. yet consider, are you focused and clear on what you do want to have?
Pick SMALL goals to support a large vision. Yes there are lots of things I want to achieve – amazing health & vitality, publish a book, enjoy loving relationships, triple my sales, travel to Paris, etc. We all have dreams and visions, yet when it comes to goals, focus on specific, smaller goals that you can follow through on. For instance, one of my health goals right now is that I have greens everyday in my nutrition. It’s clear and specific…and most importantly, DOABLE. It’s something I can commit to on a daily basis. I am green juicing every single day and I’m feeling amazing. So consider what would be the small steps to do on a daily/weekly basis that create the outcome that you want? This is a million dollar question my friends. I’d copy & paste it somewhere if I were you! By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.
The accountability factor. If you know that commitment issues with your goals is huge for you, increase your odds of success 1000% with some added nudges from accountability sources. This could be hiring a coach, creating a mastermind group, or teaming up with an accountability buddy. A good friend of mine has said, “Accountability, not ability, determines your results.” If you want different results, create the support structure that will help you get there. For me, I participate in two masterminds and two accountability partnerships – each provides accountability along with different strengths for all my goals and desired changes. When in doubt, get support!
Look, there are plenty of great resources out there that are teaching these similar things, right? The real deal is to ACT upon them. So you know where you struggle and where you shine.
So for you, what do you need to commit to?
What are you putting off, excusing, hiding from in your life?
And is that what you really want? Truly?
Change can happen at anytime we choose. That could be right now! This very instant you can put your life on a new path.
In creating change, my best coaching advice is to pick ONE thing that you’re 100% committed to. You don’t need to take on 20 new changes at once – just ONE. What’s that ONE thing for you that you will commit to you to create the outcome you desire?
Commit to it. Give your whole heart to it. I’ve found that the decision is the hardest part of change. Once the decision is made, the commitment & follow through are much easier. It is a complete struggle when I am on the fence with something or knowing that something is a “good idea” yet have no resolve.
“There are many ways to cross the river –
you just must have both feet in one boat.”
– Zen Proverb
Our commitment level is always reflected in our results.
My focus for first quarter are two major changes for my health: no processed sugar for 90 days (I’m 22 days and counting!!) and green juicing every day! I’ve done both every day this month and I’m feeling so clear and energized (another article to share in detail). I’m choosing to state this in public, to you, to increase my own accountability. And like I just said above, the decision on both choices was the hardest part. It’s easy to follow through because there is CLEAR commitment in my life.
This is my example of simple changes. What is yours? What will be yours?
Your VERY best life is waiting. Not your mediocre life. Your BEST life – the one you deserve, the one that flashes glimpses to you every so often, the one you know is yours to be claimed.
Firm up your resolve and COMMIT to yourself your simple changes and goals.
Great results are in store for you. Will I see you there?
But regardless of the negative stigma attached to New Year resolutions, I do believe in goals with all my heart. I am a huge fan of having goals and I’m a bigger fan of having realistic action steps that feel doable to follow through on.