Podcast: EP 7 Making Room for the New In Your Life

Podcast: EP 7 Making Room for the New In Your Life

I love fall so much.

 

It is my favorite season and I am feeling so cozy. I’m spending time thinking about my year (only about 10 weeks left in 2019!) and what I want to let go of before the year ends. I’m a big believer that when we let go of things we don’t need anymore, we create room for what we now need to come in. This episode is where I’m sharing some of my best practices for letting go and making room for what you are ready to receive.

There’s nothing missing in your life. You simply must make room for it.

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show notes

  • One of the most powerful influences on creation (3:12)
  • How to counteract the tendency to focus on what you’re missing (7:20)
  • Things to clean up before the end of the year (9:23)
  • Tips for decluttering your life little by little (13:05)
  • How to know whether to keep something in your life or let it go (18:22)
  • What happens when we hold onto something we no longer need (19:45)
  • How to let go of relationships that have expired (23:50)
  • Why forgiveness is an important part of letting go (26:35)
  • What judgment does to us (34:15)
Even if the hurt isn’t your responsibility, the healing is your responsibility.

links mentioned in this episode

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Podcast: EP 4 Willpower Doesn’t Work with Benjamin Hardy

Podcast: EP 4 Willpower Doesn’t Work with Benjamin Hardy

Willpower doesn’t work (at least not how you think it does.)

 

I love hearing my friend Benjamin speak about habits, goals, and psychology. He is one of the most-researched, best writers on these topics, and every time we talk, I learn something new.

Benjamin is an organizational psychologist and bestselling author of Willpower Doesn’t Work.

His work is viewed by millions of people monthly and featured on Forbes, Fortune, CNBC, Cheddar, Big Think, and many others. He is a regular contributor at Inc. andPsychology Today

From 2015 to 2019, his email list grew to nearly 400,000 people (without paid advertising) by blogging on Medium.com.

In this conversation, Benjamin explains why willpower isn’t the most effective way to change habits, what works instead, and how our personalities aren’t permanent. Get ready to take notes because I sure did!

When you change your context, you change yourself.

listen on

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show notes

  • Why willpower doesn’t work (6:30)

  • The difference between push motivation and pull motivation (7:25)

  • Why it’s so important to align your identity with your goals (9:05)

  • What decision fatigue is and how to avoid it (13:08)

  • How to use psychological flexibility for your self-development (16:05)

  • How to shape your environment to support positive change (20:38)

  • What self-signaling is (28:05)

  • What journaling can help you do (31:12)

  • The power of focusing on one outcome (36:45)

You want your identity matched with your goals.

links mentioned in this episode

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My Goals Inventory

My Goals Inventory

ach year around this time, I take a personal inventory of my annual goals. I find it’s a great time to acknowledge what’s working well and then explore what I’d like to change or work towards for the rest of the year.

I’d like to share a few coaching questions that can help you do the same thing.

First of all, think back over the last six months and identify what are your wins and victories?

  • Personally? Did you improve a skill, get organized, or commit to a morning ritual?
  • Professionally? Have you created a new product, updated your website, or taken a class to improve your sales skills?
  • Financially? Have you increased your income? Improved your close rate? Paid off debt or saved more income?
  • Health & Fitness? Have you done more green juicing or taken up running? Are you getting more rest at night or tried a new meditation practice?
  • Relationships? Have you invested more in your network or your spouse? Have you completed a relationship that was draining you? Perhaps you’ve worked on your listening skills or committed to date night?
  • Fun? Have you had some fun? Tried a new hobby or made new friends?

It’s so very easy in the conversation to immediately think of all things we either haven’t achieved yet or where we are missing the mark. I always encourage our minds to first focus on our many wins and victories before launching into setting new goals.

Remember, it’s always about PROGRESS, not perfection anyways.

I find that by beginning a goal inventory with the positive, I’ve deposited powerful fuel to inspire me to create more of what I want!

Now that we’ve acknowledge the positive, consider what you would like to achieve for the rest of 2013.

What would you like to experience more of in your life?

  • Business?
  • Finances?
  • Relationships?
  • Health?
  • Fun?

What one major professional goal achieved would launch you to the next level?

What one, simple, yet repetitive action will be your health focus? (juicing, rest, meditation, exercise)

What emotion do you want to feel on a more regular basis? (peace, aliveness, innovative, creative, etc).

What one distraction in your life or in your time do you need to reduce or eliminate to help you achieve your goals?

By answering these questions and doing an inventory of our lives, results, and desires, we become aware of what we want to consciously create in our lives and results.

I invite you this week or weekend to take an hour of personal time to reflect, journal, and/or meditate to become clear on what matters most to you and the desired changes that you want to implement.

Awareness, clarity, and decisions are the bedrock of creating an exceptional life!

Cheering you on!

Tiffany

 

Perfect is Great, DONE is Better

Perfect is Great, DONE is Better

A few years ago as I was working on a new project that I was struggling to complete, my coach at the time said these valuable words, “Perfect is great, done is better.”

It rang a very loud bell for me. To this day that phrase is on a simple 3×5 card in my office that I see every day.

It has served me well over the last few years as a wisdom that helps me to move forward and produce, even when I know (and accept) that it won’t be perfect.

In the quest for achieving our goals – growing a business, starting a project, producing a website/book/event/product, you name it – we want to produce high quality content, right? Which is a great thing! I will always strive for excellence and quality AND I’m also aware that many times there is a trap there wanting to suck you in for life. The trap has a name called “perfectionism” and it can keep you and your goals in a holding pen for months, years, or even a lifetime.

Which the trouble is, no matter what it won’t ever be “perfect.” It can be great and powerful, yet you could always find ways to improve anything. And that vicious cycle stifles our growth, follow through, and expression of the passion that wants to flow through us.

Yesterday I was on a walk in my neighborhood with thoughts about how amazing life is, how much life I want to live, and goals my heart wants to achieve. And for whatever reason I had the awareness that there isn’t an infinite amount of time to get after our goals and creating our best lives. We must take action in the time we have now. Yes, we can always improve and progress as long as we’re living; yet the truth is that our lives and our goals have an expiration date.

We have an expiration date for this life.
Our goals have an expiration date too.

My point in being so dramatic?

If we’re stuck in waiting for life to be perfect to make desired changes – to leave that job or relationship, to write that book or host that event, take that trip or get serious about the bucket list – all in the name of waiting for it to be “perfect”, we will likely have regrets. And that is no way to live.

So ask yourself, what’s something I am putting off doing or completing because I’m waiting for it to be perfect?

Is it writing your book or producing a product?
Is it waiting to market yourself until you have another certification?
Is it staying where you’re waiting for the perfect time to change what’s burning in your heart?

What if we could change that perspective to one of progress versus perfection?

For me, this is your most important goal: PROGRESS, not perfection.

Progress is realistic. Progress can happen every day. Progress is how we tackle an overwhelming, huge, and out-of-our-comfort-zone type of goal.

Coaching Assignment:

Consider a goal that you’ve always wanted to go for, but haven’t yet. Write it down.

Identify 3 to 5 simple actions you could begin taking TODAY and do it. Then pick one and do it!
Place the phrase, “Perfect is Great, DONE is Better” somewhere where you will see it often.

Realize that under perfectionism is simply just fear holding you hostage. The fears of “what if I fail? Or is it good enough? What will people think? Who am I to share this?” are all very common culprits creating the perfectionism trap.

Take your power back from the fears of you or your project needing to be perfect and invest it into the path of progress. Your progress is what creates your life and your results, with all its beautiful imperfections along the way.

Isn’t it time?!
I thought so too.

Let me know how it goes.

Love,

Tiffany

Why I Broke Up With Sugar

Why I Broke Up With Sugar

I’m choosing to forgo my formal “Success Tips” today in lieu of having a candid conversation with you.

You know how some things you love are simply just bad for you? Or perhaps too much of something or someone isn’t great for you? Sometimes too much of a good thing can throw us off balance.

Perhaps for you or someone you love, it may be a serious alcohol or drug or gambling addiction. It could also be an addiction to social media or television as a way of staying numbed out. It shows up in staying in a relationship that isn’t healthy for you or perhaps it’s constantly maxing out your credit card hoping the newest pair of shoes or handbag will feed the shopper’s high in helping you fill the void.

We all have addictions.

Some are extremely serious, as in life threatening. And some are not as serious at first glance, yet can steal our peace, confidence, and our greatest resource, our time.

One of my addictions has been sugar. I love cookies, cakes, cupcakes,  chocolate, and hot cocoa. These are lovely things to be enjoyed yet too much of them can make you sick, tired, overweight, exhausted, etc. And in all transparency, sometimes the sweets for me cover up what I’m not wanting to feel or address emotionally.

So it was time for us to take a break, Mr. Sugar and I.

Today I am 50 days sugar clean of a 90 day public commitment to let go of sugar in the forms of sweets and treats. I am eating fruit or natural forms of sugar. Some days have been easy and some days it’s been hell. It’s been a good challenge for me to find many delicious recipes that are sweet yet without processed sugar. The first 10 days were the most challenging physically as my body was detoxing sugar out of my system. Yet what’s been interesting is the emotional component behind why I often reach for sweets – many times I would reach for sweets out of boredom or feeling lonely. As that craving comes up, I’ve been asking myself, “what do I really want” and then listening to what my intuition tells me. It’s been a very interesting process of insightful learning.

Now I’m not saying that my sugar addiction compares to someone struggling with drugs or alcohol or say gambling or pornography. Yet we all have things we may turn to in filling the emotional voids we struggle with in life to numb out, feel better, or bandaid the wounds we deal with.

So before you get depressed reading this, I want to share that there is great healing and empowerment that comes when we are willing to muster the courage to look at what is creating the real pain, the cravings, or temptations behind our behaviors. We can change. We can regain control over our lives, bodies, our time, and ultimately our destiny.

So consider for yourself, are you numbing out or avoiding what isn’t working in your life?

Are you covering up feelings of low self worth or loneliness with pornography, food, shopping, or incessant time on social media?

Are you procrastinating pursuing your dreams with living on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest?

Are you covering your loneliness for real connection with online relationships?

With awareness comes the ability to make new choices.

With new choices, we shape the quality of our lives.

When we are willing to work through the emotional voids and wounds we feel by facing them, we take our power back.

As a mentor of mine has repetitively taught me, “The best way out is through.” To face the discomfort versus run, hide, or cover it.

I embarked upon my sugar cleanse for a variety of reasons – I wanted to see if there was a real difference in my energy that others claim. I wanted more mental clarity and spiritual discernment. I wanted to influence my body pH to be in an alkaline state. And overall, I wanted the self mastery challenge to show I can do it. Some people climb Everest, some of us give up sugar. Both will bring about intense learning for the participant.

I am learning that my word tastes better than anything I could eat – that honoring my integrity as I gave my word to my inner circle that I would do this – is the sweetest dessert there is.

I am learning that I am stronger than any craving or red velvet cupcake that I’m presented with…(it does help not to inhale the scent of freshly baked goods).

I am learning that I have some things in me that need some attention and healing.

I am learning that doing the things I believe I cannot do is the biggest surge of human excitement – and confidence – there is.

I am learning to be more compassionate with myself and with others as we all have our mountains to face and addictions to heal.

My path with my sugar cleanse is outlined for 90 days – until April 1st. From there I’m not sure how I’ll navigate it. I’m not saying that I won’t have sugar ever again, yet I know that I will be more aware than I ever have been related to how much of it I’m consuming. If anything, that is a Universal lesson for us all – is simply waking up to how much we’re consuming on auto pilot. For you that mean the Internet for others it’s food or sugar or shopping. Becoming aware of what we are doing – conscious creation – is a powerful place to live our lives from.

So here’s my COACHING ASSIGNMENT to you this week…

Grab your notebook or journal and consider your thoughts & responses to the following introspective questions:

  • Where in my life am I over indulging? Why am I doing that?
  • Where in my life am I putting off something that no longer works for me? Why am I doing that?
  • Where in my life am I giving my power, money, or time away to? Why am I doing that?
  • What would I rather experience? Why is that important to me?
  • What do I CHOOSE?

I do believe that no matter what you face that there is always hope for positive change. That as an aware human being that you also can master any challenge or temptation that besets you. You have the courage to create the life that your heart desires. You have what it takes to face what isn’t working and fix it, heal it, or remove it. Where there is choice, there is power.

I believe in you, my friend and fellow traveler on the path.

With love & gratitude,

Tiffany