You set a goal.
You’re thrilled!
You tell all your friends!
You take off strong towards that goal!
And then a little time goes by.
The enthusiasm wanes.
The doubts creep in.
You take your eyes off the goal and take stock of what others are doing. Many of them are further than you! GASP!
You begin questioning.
You look ahead to see your goal beckoning you in the distance.
You know it’s possible, yet is it possible for you?
It’s for sure possible for others doing it.
You can see glimmers, but you want so much more.
You thought that BY NOW you’d be so much further than you are…
So what does all this mean?
When we begin pursuing goals, changes, or growth it often (not always) takes longer than we would like.
Whether that be losing weight, growing your business, writing a book, or increasing your income, time can take longer than we wanted or expected…
For many of you, you’re exactly where you need to be. You just need a little patience and timing to arrive at your destination.
I have the great fortune to coach many people growing their own business – and inevitably the “not fast enough” syndrome hits them all at some point or another. They want more leaders for their downline. They want to get more media attention, Twitter followers, or opt in’s for their list. They want more clients to service. They want more conversations to become actual sales.
The “not fast enough” syndrome is normal.
And it can be exhausting, overwhelming, and costly.
Let me ask you this – if you knew with 100% conviction that your goal was going to happen, yet it was say 30 days or 18 months out, how would you choose to pass the time in getting there?
With peace and confidence?
Or with stress, worry, or second guessing?
I believe strongly that what you claim as yours – your desired dreams and goals – that they in effect are also seeking for you…as Rumi, the great poet has said, “What you’re seeking, is seeking you.”
Yet, I also believe that those dreams will show up sometimes different than imagined or on a different timeline than we may have.
So how can you travel the path of peace to your goals?
Consider these suggestions.
1. Eliminate the comparison game. Oftentimes our struggles come in the awareness of comparing our progress and results to that of others. We may have felt just fine in what we were doing until we hear that someone else has done double the results we have in the same time. In comparing ourselves to others, we take out an eternal measuring stick that can evaluate everything that we’re not doing, achieving, or excelling at. Drop the comparison meter and refocus on the positive things that you are doing in your own life.
2. Daily Meditation. I find that when I’m connected to myself, that inner awareness – some call it their intuition, their heart, or the Holy Spirit – whatever you call it, when you’re connected to it, there is a greater sense of peace and purpose to your life. I find that many insights, ideas, or actions to take will come to me in my meditation that is exactly what I need to learn or do next in the path of achieving my goals. Do you have daily or even weekly quiet time? A meditation practice? Journaling? Time in nature? By getting quiet and centered we will find the answers we seek.
3. Reward yourself along the way. This is SERIOUS friends! Pay attention to the power of celebration of your progress and milestones. Two years ago I began coaching a lovely woman in a direct sales business. Upon hiring me, she was one level away from the very top rank level in her company and her goal was to become a top level leader. In our first coaching session, I asked if she had ever celebrated herself for achieving the milestone (which was incredible) that she had already ascended to which she replied, “no.” Her first assignment: celebrate herself and her current achievement. She did so and it became a habit to begin acknowledging her progress along the way. Within 45 days or less, she achieved the top rank within her business and now has a network marketing business with around 100,000 distributors in her organization. Consider this, if you’re always waiting to be “perfect” or at the self created finish line for your goal to reward yourself, you may never get there. Rewarding yourself, acknowledging your progress is POTENT FUEL for the path of achievement. I invite you to do something this week to celebrate the milestones you’ve already achieved. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.
Have faith in yourself and in your goals.
Quit comparing your life to others.
Take time to get quiet and centered on a regular basis.
Reward your milestones.
What activities have the biggest influence to sales & income?
Creating a thriving business while playing more is realistic when we have quality not quantity blocks of time to focus on our MVP’s (most valuable priorities) in business.
You can have both – fun & playfulness AND productive work hours (quality) that grow your sales and income.
Okay, phew! I just said it. I feel like I just jumped off the symbolic cliff with you. I just put it out there. And now I feel a bit vulnerable and free all at the same time.
I’ve been “thinking” about writing a book for a long time. People say that it’s good for business, great for credibility, and will open many doors. And while that’s true I assume, that isn’t my driving motivation.
Nearly six months ago I attended a women’s retreat and during a meditation by the ocean I had a divine, sacred experience where I felt called to share what’s in my heart. It’s as if a seed was then planted that has been gestating and it’s now beginning to come forth. It’s about me answering a call from my Divine, my heart and willing to walk in this path, even though it’s scares me and brings up lots of my unpretty stuff.
Last weekend I participated in a virtual workshop retreat to write a book in a weekend – it was awesome – great coaching, collaboration, and passion and I made significant progress. And then I hit the wall.
I’m aware that when we approach change and growth that our stuff or limiting beliefs can come up. I coach that everyday. So I was very logical about going into this weekend, yet then I hit my own wall. I was stuck, I was overwhelmed, feeling like I wanted to just check out and shut down.
As I got curious about what was up for me and gave voice to it, I became aware that my stuff sounded like this, “Who am I to write this book? I’m just a regular girl. What will others think of me?” And then the big one surfaced – “what if I can’t live up to my content (core success principles) all the time? I’m not perfect and I don’t claim to be. And I feel incredibly vulnerable putting myself out there.”
I cried. Hot tears cried. And then breathed. And then received some love and support from dear friends who “just happened” to reach out when the meltdown was happening, including my workshop partner & dear friend, Michelle. God is really so cool with how He puts people on our path in the moment we need them. And none of them “fixed” it for me – that’s my work with myself and my Maker. Yet held the love and space to say, “Tiff, it’s okay to be vulnerable. You’re writing this to honor a calling, honoring God. You’re writing this for those who are seeking it.” And then I breathed some more and felt a sense of peaceful calm. And went on to knock it out of the park.
Being vulnerable is the path of the courageous, the path of greatness.
Whether that be in the form of writing a book, taking a stand for a cause or beliefs we have, asking for a sale, communicating our needs to our partner, or any other form where we tell our own truth or take a real or perceived risk.
There are reactions we receive in putting ourselves out there – we could experience judgment, criticism, or rejection. We could also experience love, sales, connection, and fulfillment by willing to risk and be vulnerable.
It often appears that hiding our vulnerability – acting as if we’re tough, know it all, are perfectly put together, and stuffing or distracting our vulnerability – will protect us, yet in reality it limits us from living a more expressed life.
Last Spring I was introduced to a great thought leader, Brene Brown and her TED talk video. It moved me to the core. She now has a best selling book, “Daring Greatly” and has recently been featured on the popular Oprah program, Super Soul Sunday. This topic is trending big time. Take a watch and see why:
Coaching Assignment:
So I’m sharing with you what is up for me and creating my own path of vulnerability… so you can get the most out of the time you’ve invested in reading this article, take a breath of courage and consider for yourselves…
Where in my life or what in my life am I avoiding or putting off?
What one goal – greater connection, intimacy, writing your book, asking for that sale – do you know in your gut that you need to ask for or go for?
Are you willing to ask for what you want, to put yourself out there?
Yes, your work may be judged, like mine will be. Yes, your work will be praised, like mine will be. Yes, you may get a no, get turned down, told no, or have to make uncomfortable decisions. Yes, you may get a yes, get accepted, and get exactly what you wanted. We never know unless we’re willing to be vulnerable.
I have learned for myself that the more I am authentic and allow myself to share all of me, especially the vulnerable sides, that I experience life and connections at a fuller expression of living. Vulnerability makes life more beautiful…more real, deep, and alive! And that’s a choice I’m choosing to make.
A few years ago as I was working on a new project that I was struggling to complete, my coach at the time said these valuable words, “Perfect is great, done is better.”
It rang a very loud bell for me. To this day that phrase is on a simple 3×5 card in my office that I see every day.
It has served me well over the last few years as a wisdom that helps me to move forward and produce, even when I know (and accept) that it won’t be perfect.
In the quest for achieving our goals – growing a business, starting a project, producing a website/book/event/product, you name it – we want to produce high quality content, right? Which is a great thing! I will always strive for excellence and quality AND I’m also aware that many times there is a trap there wanting to suck you in for life. The trap has a name called “perfectionism” and it can keep you and your goals in a holding pen for months, years, or even a lifetime.
Which the trouble is, no matter what it won’t ever be “perfect.” It can be great and powerful, yet you could always find ways to improve anything. And that vicious cycle stifles our growth, follow through, and expression of the passion that wants to flow through us.
Yesterday I was on a walk in my neighborhood with thoughts about how amazing life is, how much life I want to live, and goals my heart wants to achieve. And for whatever reason I had the awareness that there isn’t an infinite amount of time to get after our goals and creating our best lives. We must take action in the time we have now. Yes, we can always improve and progress as long as we’re living; yet the truth is that our lives and our goals have an expiration date.
We have an expiration date for this life.
Our goals have an expiration date too.
My point in being so dramatic?
If we’re stuck in waiting for life to be perfect to make desired changes – to leave that job or relationship, to write that book or host that event, take that trip or get serious about the bucket list – all in the name of waiting for it to be “perfect”, we will likely have regrets. And that is no way to live.
So ask yourself, what’s something I am putting off doing or completing because I’m waiting for it to be perfect?
Is it writing your book or producing a product?
Is it waiting to market yourself until you have another certification?
Is it staying where you’re waiting for the perfect time to change what’s burning in your heart?
What if we could change that perspective to one of progress versus perfection?
For me, this is your most important goal: PROGRESS, not perfection.
Progress is realistic. Progress can happen every day. Progress is how we tackle an overwhelming, huge, and out-of-our-comfort-zone type of goal.
Coaching Assignment:
Consider a goal that you’ve always wanted to go for, but haven’t yet. Write it down.
Identify 3 to 5 simple actions you could begin taking TODAY and do it. Then pick one and do it!
Place the phrase, “Perfect is Great, DONE is Better” somewhere where you will see it often.
Realize that under perfectionism is simply just fear holding you hostage. The fears of “what if I fail? Or is it good enough? What will people think? Who am I to share this?” are all very common culprits creating the perfectionism trap.
Take your power back from the fears of you or your project needing to be perfect and invest it into the path of progress. Your progress is what creates your life and your results, with all its beautiful imperfections along the way.
It was nearly 12 years ago when I heard that phrase for the first time. I was a new sales rep in a training class and at the time I first heard that phrase, I thought it was a bit of “psychobabble” talk. I didn’t think too much of it until months later I was living out what my trainer was talking about.
I had ramped up pretty quickly selling coaching for Franklin Covey Coaching and what I used to make in a month, I was now making in a week!! Awesome, right? Yes, except for the fact that I wasn’t used to making that kind of money ….and because that was outside of my comfort zone as well as my identity, I started to struggle…and it started to show up in my sales. Not good.
I hired my first “life coach” and I was introduced for the first time that year to classic books like As a Man Thinketh and Think & Grow Rich. I began to become aware of the power of my thoughts and how I was a shaping my life’s experiences.
And I went to work on the one thing I have control over – Me.
Jim Rohn has said, “your net worth will likely never outperform your self worth.”
Now, you may also think this sounds a bit woo-woo, right? Yet, I’m here to tell you that in my own experience as well as every client I’ve ever coached, we have lived out this truth.
Your self esteem is like your set of fingerprints – they’re on everything you touch: your bank account, your relationships, your health, you name it. It has a direct influence to how we show up in life and the results we’re creating – or sabotaging.
The good news? You can build your confidence & self esteem like any other muscle to make it stronger and healthier in your life. You also can go to work on you, which in turn will go to work on your sales.
Consider this – do you treat yourself like a top priority in your life? Do you cheer yourself on or tear yourself down? Do you put everyone else first and yourself last, or not at all?
Quick Inventory: Where would you rate your current level of self esteem?
Now, ask yourself, what’s one thing I can do to improve it? Begin doing it immediately! Part of building great self esteem is trusting ourselves and taking action on what our heart or intuition guides us to do.
This topic is deep and broad and we could literally do a 3 day workshop just on self esteem together. To help you get started on a path to enhancing your self esteem and therefore your results, consider these few insights to support you:
1. Trust. Self confidence comes from having a deep sense of trust within ourselves. Do you trust yourself? If no, can you forgive yourself and commit to repairing trust within you? Stephen Covey teaches that the fastest way to build trust with ourselves and others is “to make and keep commitments”…whereas the opposite is also true. Every time we make and break commitments, we erode trust. Tighten up your word with yourself so you feel confident that you’re in integrity with the boss – you!
2. Self Care. Do you take time to exercise, get good sleep, pray or meditate – or any other activity that helps your physical and emotional well being? Do you make time for you? If not, begin with 15 minutes per day to start investing in you. This simple practice will add up to a big deal.
3. Date Yourself. (I loved typing that by the way!) What I call a “Joy List”, choose to do at least one thing a week that is just for you – a massage, a game of golf, hiking, baking your favorite treat – whatever brings you joy on any level, free to expensive, that brings you a sense of joy to your life. Ideally you do something daily or multiple times a week, but at least begin with one a week. You are responsible for your happiness – so go create it!
When our BEHAVIOR backs up the BELIEF that we’re valuable and deserving, amazing things happen. Affirmations without action are simply “make believe.” If your behavior doesn’t align with the belief that you’re fabulous, worthy, valuable, etc then you’ll struggle to really believe it and live it.
Coaching Assignment:
Create your own joy list whether on a note pad, your laptop, or smart phone – begin adding things to it as you go that bring you joy – and then do them! Begin this week with doing at least one thing for yourself that brings you joy.
Whether you start small or go big, make yourself and your self esteem a top priority in your life. You’ll not only feel better, but you’ll also attract better results to you.
I’m choosing to forgo my formal “Success Tips” today in lieu of having a candid conversation with you.
You know how some things you love are simply just bad for you? Or perhaps too much of something or someone isn’t great for you? Sometimes too much of a good thing can throw us off balance.
Perhaps for you or someone you love, it may be a serious alcohol or drug or gambling addiction. It could also be an addiction to social media or television as a way of staying numbed out. It shows up in staying in a relationship that isn’t healthy for you or perhaps it’s constantly maxing out your credit card hoping the newest pair of shoes or handbag will feed the shopper’s high in helping you fill the void.
We all have addictions.
Some are extremely serious, as in life threatening. And some are not as serious at first glance, yet can steal our peace, confidence, and our greatest resource, our time.
One of my addictions has been sugar. I love cookies, cakes, cupcakes, chocolate, and hot cocoa. These are lovely things to be enjoyed yet too much of them can make you sick, tired, overweight, exhausted, etc. And in all transparency, sometimes the sweets for me cover up what I’m not wanting to feel or address emotionally.
So it was time for us to take a break, Mr. Sugar and I.
Today I am 50 days sugar clean of a 90 day public commitment to let go of sugar in the forms of sweets and treats. I am eating fruit or natural forms of sugar. Some days have been easy and some days it’s been hell. It’s been a good challenge for me to find many delicious recipes that are sweet yet without processed sugar. The first 10 days were the most challenging physically as my body was detoxing sugar out of my system. Yet what’s been interesting is the emotional component behind why I often reach for sweets – many times I would reach for sweets out of boredom or feeling lonely. As that craving comes up, I’ve been asking myself, “what do I really want” and then listening to what my intuition tells me. It’s been a very interesting process of insightful learning.
Now I’m not saying that my sugar addiction compares to someone struggling with drugs or alcohol or say gambling or pornography. Yet we all have things we may turn to in filling the emotional voids we struggle with in life to numb out, feel better, or bandaid the wounds we deal with.
So before you get depressed reading this, I want to share that there is great healing and empowerment that comes when we are willing to muster the courage to look at what is creating the real pain, the cravings, or temptations behind our behaviors. We can change. We can regain control over our lives, bodies, our time, and ultimately our destiny.
So consider for yourself, are you numbing out or avoiding what isn’t working in your life?
Are you covering up feelings of low self worth or loneliness with pornography, food, shopping, or incessant time on social media?
Are you procrastinating pursuing your dreams with living on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest?
Are you covering your loneliness for real connection with online relationships?
With awareness comes the ability to make new choices.
With new choices, we shape the quality of our lives.
When we are willing to work through the emotional voids and wounds we feel by facing them, we take our power back.
As a mentor of mine has repetitively taught me, “The best way out is through.” To face the discomfort versus run, hide, or cover it.
I embarked upon my sugar cleanse for a variety of reasons – I wanted to see if there was a real difference in my energy that others claim. I wanted more mental clarity and spiritual discernment. I wanted to influence my body pH to be in an alkaline state. And overall, I wanted the self mastery challenge to show I can do it. Some people climb Everest, some of us give up sugar. Both will bring about intense learning for the participant.
I am learning that my word tastes better than anything I could eat – that honoring my integrity as I gave my word to my inner circle that I would do this – is the sweetest dessert there is.
I am learning that I am stronger than any craving or red velvet cupcake that I’m presented with…(it does help not to inhale the scent of freshly baked goods).
I am learning that I have some things in me that need some attention and healing.
I am learning that doing the things I believe I cannot do is the biggest surge of human excitement – and confidence – there is.
I am learning to be more compassionate with myself and with others as we all have our mountains to face and addictions to heal.
My path with my sugar cleanse is outlined for 90 days – until April 1st. From there I’m not sure how I’ll navigate it. I’m not saying that I won’t have sugar ever again, yet I know that I will be more aware than I ever have been related to how much of it I’m consuming. If anything, that is a Universal lesson for us all – is simply waking up to how much we’re consuming on auto pilot. For you that mean the Internet for others it’s food or sugar or shopping. Becoming aware of what we are doing – conscious creation – is a powerful place to live our lives from.
So here’s my COACHING ASSIGNMENT to you this week…
Grab your notebook or journal and consider your thoughts & responses to the following introspective questions:
Where in my life am I over indulging? Why am I doing that?
Where in my life am I putting off something that no longer works for me? Why am I doing that?
Where in my life am I giving my power, money, or time away to? Why am I doing that?
What would I rather experience? Why is that important to me?
What do I CHOOSE?
I do believe that no matter what you face that there is always hope for positive change. That as an aware human being that you also can master any challenge or temptation that besets you. You have the courage to create the life that your heart desires. You have what it takes to face what isn’t working and fix it, heal it, or remove it. Where there is choice, there is power.
I believe in you, my friend and fellow traveler on the path.
1. Eliminate the comparison game. Oftentimes our struggles come in the awareness of comparing our progress and results to that of others. We may have felt just fine in what we were doing until we hear that someone else has done double the results we have in the same time. In comparing ourselves to others, we take out an eternal measuring stick that can evaluate everything that we’re not doing, achieving, or excelling at. Drop the comparison meter and refocus on the positive things that you are doing in your own life.
2. Daily Meditation. I find that when I’m connected to myself, that inner awareness – some call it their intuition, their heart, or the Holy Spirit – whatever you call it, when you’re connected to it, there is a greater sense of peace and purpose to your life. I find that many insights, ideas, or actions to take will come to me in my meditation that is exactly what I need to learn or do next in the path of achieving my goals. Do you have daily or even weekly quiet time? A meditation practice? Journaling? Time in nature? By getting quiet and centered we will find the answers we seek.
3. Reward yourself along the way. This is SERIOUS friends! Pay attention to the power of celebration of your progress and milestones. Two years ago I began coaching a lovely woman in a direct sales business. Upon hiring me, she was one level away from the very top rank level in her company and her goal was to become a top level leader. In our first coaching session, I asked if she had ever celebrated herself for achieving the milestone (which was incredible) that she had already ascended to which she replied, “no.” Her first assignment: celebrate herself and her current achievement. She did so and it became a habit to begin acknowledging her progress along the way. Within 45 days or less, she achieved the top rank within her business and now has a network marketing business with around 100,000 distributors in her organization. Consider this, if you’re always waiting to be “perfect” or at the self created finish line for your goal to reward yourself, you may never get there. Rewarding yourself, acknowledging your progress is POTENT FUEL for the path of achievement. I invite you to do something this week to celebrate the milestones you’ve already achieved. I’d love to hear how this goes for you.
So ask yourself, what’s something I am putting off doing or completing because I’m waiting for it to be perfect?
Now, you may also think this sounds a bit woo-woo, right? Yet, I’m here to tell you that in my own experience as well as every client I’ve ever coached, we have lived out this truth.
So here’s my